#hell dazai now is fucked up but hes just a silly guy

[sharpiedoodleee]

y’know, i can forgive dazais numerous acts of terrorism but i think about the obbsession he gave ryuu a lot

[theoriginalkaminari]

okay here me out

(WARNINGS: suicidal thoughts. Also please do not repost or reblog.)

So we all know that mr Tamaki Amajiki is big anxiety right?

Well imagine if he had a partner that was just as anxious and nervous as he was.

Like Mirio introduced you to him and you guys were like: Im JuSt LiKe YoU, YoU'rE jUsT LiKe mEeeeeE ITS SOMETHING ANYONE CAN SEEEEEEE

Or maybe Tamaki was like: Its okay, Tamaki. Just imagine them in their underwear.

...OH NO THEY'RE HOTTTT

anyway but like you two enjoy just staying inside and cuddling.

I feel like you both would do cute things to show your guy's love for each other, maybe like, gift giving, or holding pinkies, or soft little forehead kisses.

Oh you don't feel like going out? Good. Tamaki agrees and you two watch a silly TV show together.

Sometimes you two don't even need to talk to each other, you guys can just stay close together and thats enough.

Imagine if you two have a kid, boy, girl, whatever. And they are just like the most EXTROVERTED PERSON TO EVER LIVE.

Don't get me wrong you both are super supportive of your little pastel child but HOLY HELL. They do get along with Mirio a lot, however, which is adorable.

Oh, they wanna bring friends over? Do it when you and Tamaki are not in the house just incase the friends want to see you guys or you both accidentally run into them.

But all in all i give this relationship a 7/10. Very cute.

Now imagine Tamaki with a super big and buff s/o.

Have you seen Black Clover? Okay so you built like Yagi. Like big buff hot and intimidated for looks.

You seen Jujutsu Kaisen? Okay then you built like Maki. Personality wise.

Sorry, but at first Tamaki avoided you like the plague. To him, he thought you were kinda scary. To make things worse for him, you were a Bakugou. Katsuki's twin to be specific.

But you were also good friends with Mirio and Kirishima, so maybe he could try talking to you.

Just kidding he hid behind Mirio every time you went up to talk to him.

So one time he was walking around the campus when he saw you outside training outside in the courtyard. His first thought was to run away and hide, but then you called him over.

Not wanting to be rude, he hesitantly walked over to you, trying to avoid eye contact at all times.

Then you asked him if he'd want to hang out sometimes.

Tamaki was so fucking shocked and confused, this poor baby. Have you seen the owl house? Remember how Amity Blight blushes? Yeah, thats how he blushed. When he didn't respond, you just took it as a silent rejection. But before you could say anything, he nodded very stiffly and slowly.

Somehow you two are dating now.

Oh ho ho ho. You thought it was done? No.

Your mom wanted to meet your boyfriend. Mitsuki Bakugou, your mother.

So you asked Tamaki, and he was pretty hesitant at first. But he wanted to make you happy and proud of him, so he said yes.

Tamaki stayed next to you like you were the last thing on earth all through the dinner. Katsuki was glaring daggers at him from afar, but stayed quiet because...lets be honest. Your twin brother is kinda afraid of you.

Tamaki spoke when spoken too, and was very polite. He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible and even kept eye contact with your mom for about two minutes.

When the night ended, Tamaki was rewarded with kisses and cuddles.

Basically, you two are a version of Yuta Okkotsu and Maki Zen'in from Jujutsu Kaisen. I give this 9/10 you two are so silly.

Okay. One more.

If you've seen Bungo Stray Dogs, you know of Dazai Omasu. A very silly and suicidal guy. Yeah, you have his personality.

And EVERYONE knows Satoru Gojo, right? Its your lucky day because you have his looks!

Anyways.

Tamaki is super intimidated by you because you're obviously very popular and flirty and playful.

So one day you're kinda just walking around UA and you see Tamaki talking with Mirio. Since Tamaki is a super shy guy, you were like: yes, a new target.

You walked up to him and Mirio, talked for a bit with Mirio, than proceeded to flirt with Tamaki.

Tamaki was confused as hell. Why is this super hot and popular person talking to me? He thought.

Eventually, you left, but not before saying to Tamaki: "Don't bother calling me by my last name. After all, it'll be yours soon." You winked and walked away.

Yeah, Tamaki fainted.

You two eventually started dating when you got dared to kiss Tamaki. (Don't worry you asked permission first.)

Oh, people are flirting with you? Well, prepared to be ignored because your focus is all on Tamaki!

At one point, Tamaki got super sad when you kept making jokes about killing yourself. He cuddled with you and cried, begging for you not to leave him.

Please don't, he'll miss you a lot.

He feels the need to always be around you, not wanting to slip up and give you a chance at suicide by not being there.

I give this relationship a 10/10, very awesome.

[gildeddlily]

this episode is perfect but at the same time horrible (another infinite post ab bsd ik)

this is tachihara being a silly little guy with his silly little friends (they kill and torture ppl)

so they're ok with animating scenes with Yosano in only a bra (that dont even exist) but a guy without his shirt on is too much? THEY DIDN'T EVEN ANIMATE HIS FACE at least they left the "you're the perfect weight" (featuring a non impressed jouno)

this scene made me so sad cause yeah. I love Fukuzawa and the way hes so sure ab kunikida's safety ("the lone wolf changed" yeah ofc he has a decent family now stfu fukuchi) (he should be my dad)

jouno: so this is why I'm the strongest hunting dog tecchou: (I love him hes so silly hes so beautiful his voice actor is so good know I have thirty low quality screenshots of his face)

THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL SO PERFECT SO CUTE THEY DESERVE A HAPPY ENDING (...) a silly guy who tortures ppl but deep down is kind, a silly guy who just stabbed his toe and a not so silly guy who's ab to take dazai's advice ab suicide

he so beautiful but the turtle smile is... (he has such a smaller face in the manga, like more delicate but ig is enough that they left the eyelashes)

HOW DARE YOU CUT OUT THE PANEL? THE BEST INTRODUCTIVE PANEL IN THE HISTORY OF INTRODUCTIVE PANELS HOW HOW it's not fair. he deserves more than this, more than a bunch of pervs who don't know how to animate shit for their life (how the hell are they able to fuck up everything in that manga?) (I hate them) (maybe Im overreacting but I don't care) (sigma we're here and we love you you're the best looking guy in this whole thing)

(THEY CUT OUT MORE FYODOR AND DAZAI SCENES IM CRYING THE SECRET LANGUAGE SCENE KILL ME)

when he can do this

and then pull out this

he deserves everything this world can offer him. everything beautiful in this planet has his name written on. he should never suffer. he should be cherished, he should be treated like a king. he should have everything he wishes for. he is the supreme bbg, the best character cause I say so. he should be the mc (jk I love atsushi he so adorable(could kill you)), he should find a family and a place to call home. he should have an happy ending (asagiri, im watching you) (please I'm crying)

[constellation-sys]

bsd ramblings (seasons 1, 2, and dead apple)

i would commit double suicide with dazai

why does everyone have a gyatt

kunikida x dazai??????

WHY ARE THE SIBLINGS SO WEIRDDDD

ranpo’s my scrungo

atsushi has trauma and is a furry

kunikida and endeavor sound really similar

dazai <33333

what the actual fuck is wrong with the doctor 

oh hey ginger

oh those bitches are homosexual 

the way they fight is so homoerotic 

“go to hell! i was being saracastic!” — chuuya to his boyfriend

dazai x chuuya

atsushi x akutagawa 

WHY IS EVERY SINGLE GUY IN BSD SO HOT

the animation has no right to be so good 

kenji is so silly. i love him

kenji loving cows is so real of him

i need more port mafia exec dazai

“he both fears death and is drawn to it” ME FR

DAZAI <33333333333333333333

i want to hold dazai. i need to ruffle his hair. i want to commit suicide with him, my last words being heard by him only. i want to drown with this man, the holy water bringing us both to the afterlife. we will both be free. 

chuuya is so silly

“come now, take me with you to the afterlife” DAZAI AJHDISBEUDBEUBD 

dazai is a disaster bi and i love him for that

i pledge allegiance to the flag of bungo stray dogs and to the fandom for which it stands. one nation under dazai, indivisible, with fanfic and fanart for all. 

dazai is down horrendous for oda. i don’t blame him

dazai my silly wet cat disaster bi husband <33333333333333333

akutagawa is so silly

WHY DID THE THEME SONG HAPPEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EPISODE WTF

men <3

oda is my dad now bc i said so 

the kid’s name is shinji? evangelion reference?? 

“because odasaku’s my friend” NO HE AINT DAZAI. HE’S YOUR UNREQUITED CRUSH. 

“because i know my friend better than anyone” DAZAI’S LITTLE GASP OMFG IEBEKSHWJJDEBBE OMFG OMFG IM GONNA CRY DONT EVEN WINEUEHEJEJ (friend who got me into the show) YOU BITCH

“you’re a were-tiger, grow some were-balls” KUNIKIDA YOU DID NOT

ranpo is autistic

WHY THE HELL IS THE BOSS SO WEIRD ABT HIS KID WIHDJEBE OMFG

“i can’t hear the voice of god with you staring like that” — every catholic ever

nathanial hawthorn is a silly catholic

margaret basically being the daughter of a rich plantation owner in the 1800’s is so american 

ranpo my silly

chuuya <3

q and kyouka are my children

osamu dazai my silly little wet cat autistic depressed suicidal maniac disaster bisexual husband <3

WHY IS MARK FUCKING TWAIN SO FINE OMFG THIS SHOW

lovecraft is weird. i like it. he’s accurate. 

margaret x nathan?? 

chuuya and dazai are an old married couple. i love them so much. 

“god i hate you” — chuuya to his husband who he loves very much

“don’t worry, buddy. i’ve got you” — dazai to his lover

“i’d expect nothing from you, my worthy adversary” poe to his bf

WHY IS POE FINE SOEJDIHENSHDBE

ranpo is so silly 

dazai is a cool uncle to kyouka fuck you

akutagawa and atsushi are down bad for each other 

why is scott fitzgerald a crossbreed between a dilf and a twink

cmon you two kiss each other already

is akutagawa down bad for dazai or just looks up to him

WHY IS THE WIFE NAMED ZELDA?? IS SHE A PRINCESS OR WHAT

i am OBSESSED with this show

never have i ever watched an anime with a shit theme song. i love bsd’s intro so much

hehe moby dick

if kyouka dies i’m killing myself /hj

welp guess i’m dying 

akutagawa my silly <3

nvm not dying today. hey at least kyouka isn’t dead 

dazai is akutagawa’s father figure sorry not sorry 

lovecraft is so real for jumping in the sea 

POE IS HERE WIHEEIHEIEHEUDHEHD I LOVE POE 

RANPO KISS HIM RN KISS YOU TWO KISS 

“but i prefer the women in my life to be under 12” E X C U S E M E S I R 

RUSSIAN MAN???? 

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT DUDE HELL YEAH

IWJDUEBEHE DAZAI QUOTING ODA IEHRUEBEUDHWHDUENDJDJHE IM GONNA CRY AGAIN BYE—

DEAD APPLE IS AMAZING. I WATCHED IT ON 9ANIME. ONLY SUB THOUGH

READING THE TRANSLATOR STRUGGLE IS SO FUNNY. o7 TO THEM GOOD JOB.

[justice-is-a-weapon]

In vino veritas [Dazai x gn reader]

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

Chapter 10 / ?

previous | next

TW: The reader mentions using alcohol to cope and A LOT of swearing

!There’s a lot of German being spoken in this one. Don’t worry I put the translation in brackets behind the actual words being said!

e.g.: “Guten Tag!” [Good day!]

During my time spent alone I resorted to coming to bars. Maybe in hope to stumble upon him but he was nowhere to be seen. I had tried to contact him by texting him if he wanted to meet up but I was left on read. Dazai, this fucker, had successfully ghosted me. I was increasingly becoming more annoyed and yet still clung to this idea that “maybe he was just busy”. As I said, I frequently visited different bars in Yokohama, and no I totally didn’t try to drink away the pain of being left without a warning. I was telling myself I just had to “have fun again” and what better way doing that than with several vodka shots or a cuba libre.

So that’s why I was sitting here, four weeks after not having heard from this dunce, in another bar I had already forgotten the name of. It was already late but I was determined to wait just a little longer. I knew he worked mostly at dusk. Sometimes at night. So I had hoped he may go for an after work drink. Gosh I was so stupid. I was waiting like a foolish little dog for his owner after it had been abandoned at the side of the street. Maybe that’s what I was. A silly little stray dog.

I then heard the door open.

A guy with a fancy hat entered the bar. He was about 5 feet tall. Okay, maybe 5’3. He had ginger hair and quite a strong build for such a short dude. His clothes looked expensive and his gloves seemed to be made of the finest leather. So it was even funnier to see a guy like this, stumbling around in a bar at 2 am, barely being able to stand up straight. He swung himself from one chair to the next in order to not fall. I tried not to laugh, sensing I might get in trouble for it later on.

A thing you should know about me is that I seem to magically attract drunk people. Somehow one will always take a seat right next to me at some point and then starts rambling to me about their day, their wife, their financial problems or whatever. I don’t even think I look that approachable but as someone who sits alone most of the time I get unwanted company every so often.

And that seemed to be the case once again because the guy I’ve now settled on looking like a human puss in boots took a seat right next to me. And just like expected he started to ramble, his speech quite slurred and in a loud tone. Even the bartender looked a bit frightened.

“My ex-partner is such a fucking arsehole!”

I’m not religious in the slightest but right then I was praying to God to please spare me this time.

“Like- You see this dude- That man has the audacity to just show up, at my work that is, and act like nothing ever happened!”

Fucking hell, this dude is completely nuts.

I got an idea to maybe get myself out of this situation. I looked at him in a confused manner and then spoke in the most German accent I could muster, in a mix of English and German: “Oh sorry I not speak any Japanese. Ich kann nur Deutsch. Ich hab keine Ahnung was Sie von mir wollen” [I can only speak German. I have no idea what you want from me.]

I am a fucking genius.

Mentally I gave myself a high five. This was the most genius idea I’ve ever had for sure and I could enjoy my drink in peace, then go home and watch another one of those reality tv shows that escalate way too quickly while falling asleep on the couch. This was the good life for sure. At least I thought so when I heard his agitating, grating voice again.

"Oh, warum hast du das nicht gleich gesagt? Also wo war ich… Ach ja! Mein Kollege, okay Ex-Kollege-“ [Oh why didn’t you tell me from the beginning? So where was I… Oh yeah! My colleague, okay ex colleague-]

You have to be fucking kidding me. If there was a God out there this must’ve been his punishment for me never really going to church. I just wanted to disappear into the bar before me and never return again. I would have expected anything from this night really but an angry ginger ranting to me about his ex partner was not on my list of probable events. His usage of the informal “you” also made my blood boil ever so slightly. Like dude, you do not know me and I’m of age at least be more formal. We’re not friends alright?

Yet I still tried to listen and nod along. I didn’t want any more trouble in my life and I doubted I could win a lawsuit against this guy.

“Und dann denkt dieser… Dieser ARSCHLOCH, er könnte einfach so bei uns einbrechen, weil ‘er braucht was’, und er reduziert mich dann immer auf meine Größe! Ich hab… Wie heißt das? Durchschnitt! Durschnitt-Größe!” [And then this… this asshole, thinks he could just break into our place because ‘he needs something’ and he always reduces me to my height! I have… what is it called? Average! Average height!]

I excused him his few grammatical errors. To be quite fair I was pretty impressed. He clearly had a lot to drink and let me tell you: I can’t speak German that well if I had as much as this guy had. Maybe this could be an interesting conversation after all.

“Okay ich check’s aber immer noch nich’ ganz: Dein Ex-Kollege? Ex-Partner? Der kommt trotzdem noch?” [Okay, but I still don't quite get it: Your ex-colleague? Ex partner? Is he still coming?]

“Ja!” [Yes!]

“Und warum stört er dich jetzt so sehr?” [And why does he bother you that much?]

“Weil er mich einfach verlassen hat, verdammt! This.. this son of a bitch… Er hat mich einfach so im Stich gelassen! Ich habe ihm vertraut! Und dann geht er!” [Because he just left me, dammit! This.. this son of a bitch… he just let me down like that! I trusted him! And then he leaves!]

He takes a deep breath then hits the bar counter, making me jump. He then looks at me.

“Ich bin mir sicher, für solche Leute gibt es einen ganz bestimmten Platz in der Hölle. Ich weiß, ich werde da auch landen, aber er hat ein VIP-Ticket.”[I'm sure there's a special place in hell for people like that. I know I'll end up there too, but he has a VIP ticket.]

Oh shit that got real deep real fast.

“Das hört sich persönlich an… Ganz sicher, dass ihr nur Kollegen wart? Nich’ mehr? Oder interpretier ich da was falsch?” [That sounds personal... Are you sure you were just colleagues? Nothing more? Or am I interpreting something wrong?]

I can’t tell if the red on his cheeks is from the alcohol in his system or if he feels called out.

“Weißt du was? Lass uns Wein trinken!” [You know what? Let’s drink wine!]

My eyes widened. I may be able to pay for cheap liquor but I’m definitely not going to order myself expensive wine just for fun. Maybe I should make that clear. He already seemed to order the most expensive bottle of the house.

“Oh sorry aber dafür hab ich kein-“ [Oh sorry but I don’t have any-]

“Ich zahle, du hörst zu. Deal?” [I pay, you listen. Deal?]

I just nodded.

“Warte… Wie heißt du nochmal?” [Wait… What’s your name again?]

I stopped and stared for a second. Shit. I need a name. That’s when I spotted a bottle of Jack Daniel’s behind the barkeeper. Maybe I could use that.

"Daniel. Ich heiß’ Daniel” [Daniel. My name is Daniel.]

He nodded then telling me his and giving me a handshake.

“Chuuya. Chuuya Nakahara. Schön Sie kennenzulernen.” [Chuuya. Chuuya Nakahara. Nice to meet you (formal)]

Oh wow so he was capable of using the formal form the whole time. But I had another problem: I was slowly realizing what kind of guy I must be dealing with here. I had heard of him before. The amount of money this dude had, the coat, the gloves and the fact that the bartender was scared shitless and yet didn’t kick him out. This man right before me was a mafioso. I began to sweat. How have I not noticed before? This was bad. So very bad.

The glass of wine was placed right in front of me just a minute later. Chuuya had already started talking my ear off. Somehow I felt sorry for him. He seemed so hurt, desperate even, in the way he talked. I felt the urge to maybe stroke his back and tell him to “let it all out” but ultimately decided against it, unsure if he even liked touch as a form of comfort. What was striking however was the similarities in our situations.

“Und dann geht er immer. Einfach so. Ohne etwas zu sagen.” [And then he leaves. Just like that. Without saying anything.]

He took a deep breath.

“Und dann bin ich allein.” [And then I’m alone.]

He had calmed down now. The anger had turned into sadness. Not exactly a better feeling but one I could deal with more easily.

“Ich versteh dich, um ehrlich zu sein. Ich wurde auch letztens erst geghostet. Ich weiß immer noch nicht, ob ich weiter warten soll. Gott , ich weiß nicht mal, ob ich ihn überhaupt als Arschloch abstempeln kann, obwohl ich ganz genau weiß dass ich ihn nicht verlassen hab, sondern er mich.” [I get you to be honest. I was recently ghosted too. I still don't know if I should wait any longer. God, I don't even know if I can even label him an asshole, although I know for a fact that I didn't leave him, he left me.]

He looked at me with a sense of pity, then looked at his glass, then furrowed his eyebrows. After that he clinked our wine glasses together and announced proudly:

“SCHEISS AUF MÄNNER! DIE KÖNNEN MICH ALLE MAL! DIE HABEN UNS NICHT VERDIENT!” [FUCK MEN! THEY CAN ALL GO FUCK THEMSELVES! THEY DON’T DESERVE US!]

I laughed loudly at that and he did too. I was beginning to kind of like this dude. I raised an eyebrow while smiling at him.

“Aber bist du nicht selbst einer?” [But aren’t you one yourself?]

His confident smile dropped for a split second.

“Hahaha! Wir ignorieren das mal.” [Hahaha! We’re going to ignore that.]

I had a lot of fun (and wine for that matter) with Chuuya that night. It felt good to have laughed again after being constantly worried for so long, not knowing what was going to happen next. He had taken my mind off of Dazai. Even if it was only for a night.

It all ended with him getting increasingly more quiet. He was beginning to nod off. He had definitely had too much to drink. How would he get home? He just meant he’d call someone to pick him up. I demanded he do it now but he seemed to struggle with his phone. He finally had enough after trying to press the buttons for about five minutes without achieving anything. I eventually took his phone.

“Wen soll ich anrufen?” [Who should I call?]

I managed to say as softly as possible, trying to show him I genuinely wanted to help.

He managed to croak a “Kouyou… Ozaki” before he finally passed out with his wine glass still in hand. I ended up asking the bartender to fish out her contact and watch Chuuya while I was outside making the phone call. The phone rung three times before someone picked up.

“Please don’t tell me you’re drunk again.”

Straight to the point. I see.

“Uhm… hi?” I ended up stuttering “Well, yes, he kind of is. Blacked out to be quite frank.”

“Who are you and where should I go to pick him up? I’m sorry if he was of any nuisance to you.”

The woman that picked up sounded rather formal and collected in contrast to Chuuya. Her voice was rather nice to listen to.

“Oh no no! He wasn’t a nuisance. Bar Mimi? It’s right next to Miyuki-dori Street, First floor. I don’t know how to describe it any better. We met here because he just started talking to me but no he wasn’t a nuisance. You can tell him I actually have enjoyed his company.”

“I’m sure I will find it.”

With that the call ended. I returned his phone to him, wrote a little note telling him I hoped he got home safely (in German of course), paid and then took my leave.

Thank you Chuuya for this completely absurd but very enlightening night.

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

[So Ophelia is spending their time alone for now. However this will take a turn in the next few chapters as we will slowly figure out what even happened in the first place. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this (less Dazai-centric) chapter! As to what is going on in my life; I am through with most of my exams for now. The big ones are in April already tho and I’m lowkey freaking out about it. (I’ll just tell myself “in vino veritas” is my preparation for the English exam haha)]

[nacaharachuya]

Okay so i realised im a fucking idiot and that i’ve been sending you shit through “?” And i have no idea where those messages go through so whoopdy doo ig but in my defence i wasnt able to send anything any other way bc.. uhh.. yeah my email wasn’t confirmed n all that. Im telling u man i’m a whole ass boomer rn🤦‍♀️ can’t even remember how to send an ask smh.

Anyways i only now finished reading svs because i’ve been putting it off in favour of reading different fics (works from other fandoms and… ooc soukoku fics. Listen i hate mischaracterisation as much as the next guy but i find them very entertaining okay) and AAAUURGGHH WHAT A BANGER. The way you write is immaculate if svs was a food it’d have a savoury taste like i’d be liking my fingers n shit. I found out about it when you posted on twitter you updated it (it was the smut chapter, by the way) and i was like “huh” and decided to read it and my god am i glad I didn’t skip over that tweet.

Idk if this was on purpose or not but verlaine is kinda cringefail in your fic and i love it. I am a firm believer that as badass as verlaine is he is undeniably embarrassing and i need MORE of that.

My one criticism for svs is that we needed more adam scenes. He should have been added like really, unnecessarily early on in the fic and act as a third wheel in the fic. But like a third wheel soukoku did not want or ask for but he’s just kinda there they can’t really get rid of him. Chuuya and dazai in their divorce arc arguing and adam is in the background thinking “i could crack a really funny joke from this” (on that note i added the lines “Adam’s blabbering makes more sense now, so they act as if nothing has happened. “When I lift this veil, you will seal the deal with a kiss.” He can’t stop himself from laughing, “I hope you enjoyed that joke too.” “We didn’t,” Verlaine says from across the shrine. “Paul be quiet.”” In my “collection of fanfic lines I chuckled at” in my notes. He’s so silly i love him. I love how he laughs at his own jokes he just like me fr.)

Anyways here are like two extra svs doodles. I keep thinking about how you said that chuu can fluctuate between genders (literally) and its so… zamn.

And reading the scene where verlaine is brushing chuuya’s hair inspired me to draw this

I have no idea how long chuuya’s hair is supposed to be like idk if it’s “yeah his hair is a little longer than it is in canon haha” or “yeah mf got some LONG ass hair looking like rapunzel”. Also I don’t remember if his lil ribbon was red or blue but.. i jus went with blue and i didn’t know if the pearls were supposed to be like on his head or woven into his braid so i just went with the latter. And again ALSO i know he was barefoot but i’m not drawing his fucking dogs okay.

This ask is long as hell never let me talk again LMAO

Currently looking at a detail i forgot in the drawing… not pointing it out in hopes you don’t notice it either smh but GOD DAMMIT 🤬🤬🤬

DAWG I OPENED THIS YESTERDAY IN SHOCK IA M ALWAYS BLOWN AWAY BY YOUR ASKS AND ART IT MAKES ME FEEL SO LOVED AND SO CRAZY LIKE!?!?! I'M SO GLAD YOU LOVED IT ENOUGH TO MAKE ART I SAVE IT AND LOOK AT IT CONSTANTLY ;_; IM LIKE.....

AND ALSO THANK YOU. I need svs criticism and ur right I should have introduced more characters earlier I just got carried away with skk because...IDK BUT ADAM WAS MY SAVING GRACEE. He was so silly I wanted to add him sooner but I was like wait....no... BUT HE IS IN THE SEQUEL!!! DW!!! His silly ass is there and he's cracking them jokes and Verlaine is like o_o. THE ADAM LINES WERE SO FUN TOO CAUSE HE'S NOT CRINGE HE'S JUST....HIM.

Verlaine is cringe-fail on purpose tho and I'm glad you saw that because I see him as an incredibly pathetic person who can't do normal human things. He would like bite open a metal can or rip it open with his hands because he doesn't know what a can opener is. He is that type of guy.

The art is just immaculate bro like straight-up BEAUTIFUL. Chuuya's literal genderfluidity is something I'm glad people like cause when I imagine divinity I think of someone not bound by sex or gender and whatnot plus I just don't think he'd give a fart. so like....world's most wonderful tits...but he's shorter.

THE WEDDING OUTFIT IS SENDING ME TO THE GRAVE THO LIKE. IT"S PERFECT AND IDK WHAT DETAIL YOU MISSED CAUSE I FORGET EVERYTHING BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT I"M. THE HAIR LENGTH I DIDN"T SPECIFIY !!! He looks so *crying emoji cause I don't have my phone* you don't have to draw his toes I just think barefoot chuu running up the stairs to meet dazai is very him. perseverance.

BOYCACA WHAT IS YOUR TWT LET ME FOLLOW YOU AND BOTHER YOU THERE AND SPREAD THE BOYCACA AGENDA

[growling]

ep11 i love my silly little anime

oh hi mushi!!!! you okay or is this a flashback....

oh i suppose he's captive jshdghsd. he's too used to luxury how does he survive.......

play the dead friend anthem. despair

OH KYOUKA AND ATSUSHI JUST BARGED IN???? WE GETTING MUSHI/KYOUKA/ATSUSHI INTERACTIONS???? also by barged in i mean uh. through the ceiling

why's he speaking german hold on i need to google something- yeah why's he speaking german rn.............. shgdfgshd

yayayayayyayayy mushitaro joined the party!!! VERY reluctantly though

oooooh he's SO MAD jhfgheudfjhjkerjdhe

he's so pathetic at everything he does he's a fucking gag cartoon villain............ aw drat!!! foiled once again!!!!!!!!!11

funny little man. he can be my pet freak along with francis. its fine he said himself he doesn't mind being locked up. get in the kennel

ohhh ango's here. that's bad

does mushi know ango...... he looks p scared....

ohhh does ango being in the government-turned-crime organisation is also just added by the novel. thats being written by a guy thats obviously shitty at it. which i thought was fyodor but isnt he in confinement rn........ but he was acting like he had the book................

ooooo perfect crime ability coming in handy :33

they're just walking around with money on their heads sjdhgwgf........ perfect crime!!! walk with pride!!!!

get YEETED idiot!!!

ooooooo friend ghost helping...... is that also written in in the novel so thatd their capture wouldnt be anticlimacting or or they need them for something later-

WOOHOOO!!!!!!!

in other words....... it's a perfect crime...... >:3c

WHOOPSIE the crime succeeded if you wanted to know but someone just shot atsushi with a dart whoopsieeee

UH OH MUSHI HE'S ALONE NOW. SOMEBODY JUMP OUT FROM ABOVE AND HELP THE MAN!!!!!

ooohhh ango ability.......

OOOOOOOOH ANGO'S HELPING???? ANGO'S IN ON IT....... also the ango finger on lips gesture is everything to me

WOOHOOO I KNEW I NEEDED TO TRUST ANGO WITH MY LIFE :)))))

ooooo and ango was the one to send that message!! how did you communicate with dazai though............

how. how does dazai code his messages with his heart rate. whuh

oh yeah lol i guess. i guess he's dazai lmao. very dazai thing to just learn

yeah he's not with the seventh agency!!!! ive been saying this!!!! ango buddy would never!!!

LUCYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also yeah her ability's pretty useful lmao they really just can. Leave lskdjfhkdfjskj

safest place on earth <3

awwwwww lucy tried to vouch for atsushi <3333 however. Effective or thought out that was...... it's the thought that counts!

while i was writing this down somebody just asked me about my bsd ocs...... yippieee so cool i get to talk about Stefan yayay!!!! i will answer in roughly 4 months

oooooh ango did make use of the seventh agency's services at least...... well at least he looks guilty abt it! let's forgive him

oooooh and he did that to erase dazai's past crimes so that he could escape....... imagine having dazai as a friend like that's just sad i cannot be mad at ango for it i just feel sympathy

ooooooh and now ango and mushi are gonna relate to each other via the friend thingy...... ooooooooohhhhh...........

oooooo info time!!!

uh oh. there is. someone above fyodor. uh oh. UH OH who the hell is that guy

what do they necessarily mean by erasure of the state i don't think i quite get that but thats just me.... anyway........

glad atsushi is optimistic at least!!!

anyway bsd season 4 let's go gamers

ep1:

still waiting for chuuya to get unbooked. notify me immediately once he gets unbooked i can't take thsi

oh hi fukuzawa. put his wrinkles back on ffs

fukuzawa and ranpo flashback episode pretty please??

LET'S GOOOOOOO

oh oda's the assassin?? killer baby

ranpo voice heard my waters are cropped

i do not accept ranpo being the same age/older than oda. i will not accept this. let oda be like. 30+ or whatever

whys ranpo giving me ouma vibes in this outfit

ranpo don't care sunglasses emoji

oh yeah i had the feeling the secretary was the killer from the moment ranpo walked in lmao. now danganronpa execute him

coolest kid you've never met

good for ranpo for getting kicked out of the police after exposing all their shit as a teenager

snitch ranpo we love to see it it's okay if he does it he can do whatever he wants forever he's never been wrong in his life

orphan lore

oh he's 14 now. baby

"well done for today-" "that's it?? you're talking to a 14-year old who lost his parents his job and his future. thats all you got??" yes ranpo go fight for that sympathy points make that old man cry and shake from guilt

he's so sillyyy......... "*2 seconds after walking out the door* help me mister bodyguard i don't have work or a place to stay im going to die" yes ranpo go fight for that house and income pluck that old man out of everything he got (morally correct). i love how it literally works and fukuzawa says yeagh sure every time

with every single minute ranpo is on screen. i swear. with every single damn frame of that guy he gets more and more npd. like. that is a narcissist. you wrote a narcissist and made him the coolest most swag guy in the anime. and that's not even mentioning that guy's massive fucking autism and adhd

is this gonna be like rain code chapter 2 where where-

fukuzawa sweating voice damn that kids a genius and also deeply deeply unnerving why is he so op in the smarts stats what happened in his early childhood to ruin him forever like this

and ranpo's utterly clueless to that too he just thinks everybody else is an idiot or just acting real weird and hiding what they know for some reason.

"ive only just met you so i don't know much but- *lists his entire fucking biography*"

LEAVE THE BOY ALONE YOU KNOCKED HIM OVER FUKUZAWA YOU MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A CRUEL AND WICKED PERSON YOU WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH YOU HAVE NOT AND NEVER WILL CHANGE IN A MEANINGFUL WAY. CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS...............

oh ok he apologized. but can he ever truly be forgiven........

the hat :)

new sonboy acquired

[catintheruemorgue]

dazai x reader / fyodor x reader

summary: fyodor and dazai are met by a demon in the middle of the night.

warnings: religious themes, alcohol, some sexual undertones, mentions of suicide. if i missed anything feel free to let me know!!

word count: 1.1k

yeah so i’m pretty sure this is gender neutral but when i stared writing this i wrote the demon as a succubus lol then i realized with succubus i’d be walking down a fine line of something i didn’t want to so !! demon it is :) anyways this isn’t really a happy ficlet but enjoy!

Fyodor:

Word count- 524

Fyodor rarely slept. He was always too busy staying one step ahead of his enemies. When he did sleep though, he was plagued by nightmares. Most he could handle, it was just a mere dream and someone like him couldn’t have time to dwell on such trivial things. Yet tonight was different.

The russian dreamt of literal Hell. Being tortured and ripped apart over and over again on a loop. A melodious laugh filled the rooms. He jolted awake and panted.

“Aw, Fyo you’re awake already? That didn’t last long.” Panic shot through his veins and he immediately brought his hand up to touch you.

You grabbed his wrist and squeezed, hard. Although it must’ve hurt he didn’t give any indication that he was in pain.

“That won’t work.” You inspected his hand almost in admiration.

“You’re a demon.” There was almost a hint of disbelief in his voice.

His hands were pale and thin, not what you’d expect from a man who had an ability like Crime and Punishment. They seemed weak. You didn’t turn from his hand but your eyes trailed to his face. The smirk that appeared was cocky.

“Good job, devil.” You said it with distaste.

What you didn’t expect was a smile to appear on his face as he let out a fearless laugh.

“This is just a dream, I have nothing to be afraid of.” He stared straight into your eyes.

It pissed you off and you jumped onto his chest staring him straight into his violet eyes while yours went black. Your hands cupped his cheek and squished. You couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was. Still it was your job to seduce people and deliver messages.

“This is not a dream rat. I’ve come to remind you that although you may consider yourself a God in this world, you are a mere speck of dust in ours. There’s no getting out of this one.” You kept the eye contact for a few more seconds before leaning down near his ear.

“Mr. Lucifer and the big guy upstairs aren’t too happy you’re competing for their titles.” You licked a stripe up his ear before chuckling.

Pushing yourself off of him you stretched and sighed. Maybe they could make good use of him in Hell, he certainly had the emptiness and evil within him. You felt something akin to happiness at the thought of Fyodor being stuck in the abyss with you. You turned to him once more.

“I’ll be seeing you Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Next time it may not be so pleasant.” You winked at him and with a blink of an eye you were gone.

The Russian man quickly turned on his bedside lamp and began to panic. His chest heaved as he couldn’t remember a time when he’s felt so hopeless. Like he’s already lost. The worst part is Fyodor would’ve easily just chalked it up to a bad dream if it wasn’t for the dark bruise forming on his wrist.

There’s no getting out of this one.

This statement rang in his head like a bell reminding him of his inevitable demise and loss.

Dazai:

word count: 632

After drinking himself silly Dazai had finally passed out. He always struggled with insomnia and his perfect cure was alcohol. But like most nights the twenty two year old would not be getting a full night's rest.

Dazai’s eyes snapped open to find someone sitting on top of his chest. He knew he felt something. Immediately he went into attack mode but when he tried to all he heard was a loud laugh and strong pressure holding him down. His eyes widened for a moment as he wondered why his ability wasn’t canceling theirs.

“This isn’t an ability, Osamu.”

His eyebrows furrowed as he began to panic. Dazai did not like to feel bested and he didn’t like to be trapped but that’s exactly what he was right now. Paralyzed in his own bed with someone just sitting on him. They raised an eyebrow at him.

“I would’ve thought you’d guess it by now. You’ve been a very bad boy Dazai.” You giggled as you saw it click in his mind.

“You’re an actual demon.” The disbelief in his voice filled your veins with excitement.

You caressed his face before nodding. He was attractive, very attractive but you’d have to wait another time to ever entertain any ideas you had. You leaned down and sniffed his head.

“You reek of alcohol, trying to run from something?”

You could see the way his eyes shifted.

This was too fun. Dazai had a lot of baggage, most of it he locked away and hid but you knew everything.

“Is this beautiful demon here to give me my perfect, painless death? Maybe even ravage me?” His tone was back to playful.

Your face flushed with anger as your hand came up and wrapped around his neck. You squeezed, not enough to kill him but enough to make it uncomfortable.

“This isn’t a game little ex Port Mafia executive. The afterlife won’t be fun for you.” You snarled at him.

“But I’m a changed man!” He choked out and your eyebrow twitched at that.

Who the fuck was this guy? You could feel your nails go sharp and break some of the skin of his neck. Even though he continued to act like this was all a joke you had one more trump card.

“Do you think Odasaku would be proud of you?” You could see his eyes darken and the jolly atmosphere die off.

If he could move you knew he’d kill you. Before he could answer you held a hand over his mouth, knowing if he bit you it couldn’t hurt.

“Hmm, i’m not so sure. I’ll have to just ask him.” You smiled before leaning down so your eyes were level.

You released his mouth and you were so close it felt almost intimate, like you were about to kiss him. Deciding not to you let off some pressure on his throat.

“Hell sees all and knows all Osamu. Everything you try to hide and everything you do and did we already know. There’s no redemption for you. You may want to live out the rest of your life because this is as good as it’s going to get.” You sat up and watched his eyes look almost empty.

As you got up to leave he called out for you.

“Is Odasaku really in Hell?” His voice was soft and it shocked you.

Your hand came back to caress his cheek once again.

“That you’ll just have to find out.” Like that you were gone.

Dazai jumped up and ran to the bathroom where he threw up. The only evidence that any of that happened was the bruise and blood on his neck. Your words played over and over in his head like a broken record player.

There is no redemption for you.

[send-allmyloving]

Hey there! I looove your blog and I was hoping if you can write a jealous (S/o) with Chuuya back when he was a sheep member? How Yuan keeps wrapping her arms around his every time she sees them two together alone?

Hi hiiii this is cute! Thank you for the ask! And thank you so much for the support 💕

Chuuya with s/o who is jealous of Yuan

You and Chuuya had met up in the arcade once again, like every other Friday night. Although you were a mafia member along with Dazai, you had made acquaintance with Chuuya during one of your missions, and despite his instant disapproval of your friend, he was quite literally entranced by your presence the first time he saw you; he just had to know more about you.

And so here you were, both of you being the best of friends, playing your usual round of games together, in which you would... usually win, much to Chuuya’s displeasure.

“Come ON! That’s cheating!!” Chuuya yelled, frustratedly slamming his fists onto the controls while you cackled delightedly at his defeat.

“Sorry Chuu~ the world works in wondrous ways, and unfortunately, it’s on my side this time!” You feigned a disappointed sigh before smirking triumphantly in his face.

He groaned, face-planting onto the controls. You snickered and got up from your seat, springing onto his back while continuing to tease him in a sing-song voice.

“Oh shut up (Name)! I swear I was gonna win that won, I just got.. distracted!” Chuuya grumbled, slightly shoving you off his back.

“Sure you were, whatever helps you sleep at night Chuuya,” you grinned, poking his forehead.

“Ok that’s it--” the redhead started, before standing up to scoop you up in his arms as you yelped.

“Oi! Nakahara! Put me down right this instant!” You demanded, slapping his chest. 

“No can do, bud. You brought this on yourself. Now prepare yourself for...” he started to lean in, pursing his lips as he “threatened” to kiss you.

“Ack!! Get away!” You screeched as you batted at his face, Chuuya victoriously laughing at your disgust.

“You’re a dick” you said, glaring at him before proceeding to fake a gag in feigned disgust at his previous actions.

“You know it!” he jeered, still holding you up in his arms. “But ya know... I would have crushed you into the ground if you were Dazai. Consider yourself lucky.”

“Shut up.”

“Chuuya-senpai!” A foreign voice called out. You both froze, looking at each other with widened eyes. You struggled out of his grasp before you both turned and faced two other members of the Sheep, whom you had no idea about. But your annoyance grew when you turned your attention to the source of the obnoxious voice-- a young girl with loose pink hair, part of it pinned up to the side in a circle. Yuan. She was quite an annoyance for you and Chuuya, always coming and linking an arm around his when she saw you alone together, sending a menacing glance your way. As much as Chuuya and you were friends, and as much as you knew it would be just another inconvenience to develop that relationship into something more, and especially with a member of the Sheep, of all other organizations, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit....

Jealous. 

Another boy, around Chuuya’s age and slightly taller, with silver-blue hair followed behind. 

“Yuan? What are you and Shirase doing here?” Chuuya asked, clearly looking annoyed that you two had been interrupted.

“You’ve been disappearing pretty frequently, we wanted to know if you were up to anything suspicious,” the boy, Shirase, said matter-of-factly. His eyes move to you. “Who’re they? A mafioso?”

Chuuya looked back at you, a glow of sympathy in his blue eyes. “They're just a friend,” tearing his eyes off of you only to look back at the Sheep members standing before him. “What’s it to you if I’m off with someone else, having fun?” he snapped, clear irritation present in his rough voice.

“But Chuuya-senpai~ We just wanna make sure you’re not messing around with anybody who might hurt you!” Yuan whined, shoving herself in between you and the redhead to cling onto his arm.

That again. God, she was so annoying.

Chuuya looked down at her, exasperated “How are they gonna hurt me? Did you forget about my power or something?”

“I don’t mean that silly... I meant... traitors, you know? People who backstab you?” Yuan said slyly, giving you a once-over, repulsion evident in her eyes. Chuuya raised his eyes to you, eyes widening as he saw your troubled expression.

That girl... what a bitch.

You cleared your throat, trying to seem unbothered by her subtle advances as you looked away, hands tightened into fists inside your coat pocket.

“(Name)-san? (Name)-san~ Where are you?” another voice called out, this one more playful and definitely familiar.

“Dazai-san?” You rose your eyes in surprise at his presence as you saw him scan around the arcade. His eyes found yours, and a smile danced upon his face as he strode towards you.

“Oh? Are we having a little standoff over here? Chuuya~ Are you causing trouble for our dear (Name)-san?” 

“Shut up, shitty Dazai. I didn’t expect these guys to come here,” Chuuya snapped, subtly shrugging Yuan off his arm.

“It’s fine, Dazai. Let’s go,” you said sharply, yanking the sleeve of Dazai’s shirt as you marched out of the arcade.

“Oh-- (Name)-san? Wha--” Dazai didn’t get to finish his sentence before getting pulled away from the group.

And Chuuya... was seething with rage.

Why the hell did he have to have his moment ruined by a bunch of buffoons, and then see his best friend (and crush) walk out on him arm in arm with his enemy? Was the world seriously against him today?

Chuuya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance. Now he had to worry about how the hell he was going to apologize to you.

“What is your problem you guys? Can’t I have a little time to myself to be with my friend? I already have an entire mission for us to take care of, for fuck’s sake!” Chuuya snarled, glowering at the both of them.

“But Chuuya--” Yuan started, a perplexed expression written onto her face as she looked on at him.

“Just shut up, both of you!” Chuuya yelled, storming out of the arcade.

~

You and Dazai were sitting on the terrace of the Mafia headquarters. You had thrown your coat into your room out of anger, but Dazai had offered you to come up to the terrace with him to accompany his smoke break, and you had accepted in an attempt to get your mind off of today, and... you had left your coat. So here you were, slightly shivering from the chilly Yokohama air as you sat alongside Dazai, watching him blow puffs of cigarette smoke out of his mouth.

“Cold?” Dazai asked, curious brown eyes finding yours as he casually threw his coat around your shoulders before leaning back against the wall once more.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, pulling the coat further around you as you stared absentmindedly at your toes.

“So what’s up?” Dazai asked, tapping out the ashes against the concrete, adjusting his position so he was looking at you.

“...You already know,” you sighed, turning to face him. “I just... that girl fucking bothers me. I don’t know what she has against me but... here we are, I guess.”

“Tell me about it,” Dazai sighed, lighting a new cigarette. “As much as I hate the chibi, it pisses me off seeing how much they use him to their advantage. So fucking greedy....” He leaned his head far back so it touched the wall behind him, looking up at the setting sky as it turned from orange to pink.

“It’s not just that, Dazai,” you gave him a look. He looked back at you, and the realization hit him. He smirked.

“So why don’t you just tell chibi-san that you’re jealous?”

“Shut the hell up,” you groaned, punching him in the arm. 

“Ow! Was I wrong though?!” he whined, rubbing his sore arm. You packed a good punch when you felt like it. “But seriously, when are you just gonna tell him how you feel? It’s really obvious how much you like him, you know.” 

You exhaled, bringing a hand to your head to massage your temples. “I seriously don’t know anymore. But you’re right. I should just... cut to the chase and tell him straight up.”

Dazai smiled. He ruffled your hair. “That’s what I like to hear! So when are you gonna tell him?”

You shrugged. “At our next visit?”

He scoffed. “Come on (Name)-san. Do you really think he’s gonna think you both are gonna meet up as usual after what went down today?”

You bit your lip. “I mean... you’re right but... ugh, I don’t know!” you groaned, head thudding back against the wall. “How am I gonna ask him to just... meet me tomorrow?”

Dazai chuckled. “Hey, you’re friends with me. I’ve got you covered,” he said, grinning as he gestured to his phone. “I’ll text him where to meet you, and you just go there. Got it?”

You let out a heavy sigh, resting your head on your knees. “Fine. Whatever you say, Dazai.”

~

Chuuya was relieved, yet panting as he walked up to the steps of the Port Mafia headquarters. He had to resolve things with you as soon as he could, and if that meant literally putting his life on the line by possibly trespassing into a criminal organization's lair? Then so be it. He’d do anything for you. He was... dare he say it, sort of in love with you, if he was being honest. But anyway, he knew it wasn’t like you were going to like him back. You had Dazai. That should be enough for you, right?

But even so, he didn’t want to lose you no matter what. You were the only true friend that he ever had, and he didn’t want to lose the only person he ever actually cared about. 

So he was just about to crash down the locked entrance before he saw a familiar figure wandering past the front of the headquarters.

It was you.

The next moments were all a blur. One moment he was at the entrance, and the next he was holding you in his arms oh so tightly. 

And you were in so much shock you could barely move.

“(Name),” he whispered, burying his nose into your hair and inhaling your comforting scent.

“Chuu...?”

He swallowed, pulling back to look at you, his sapphire eyes on the brink of tears.

You stared back at him, your eyes softening. "I... I was going to meet you tomorrow--"

“I’m really sorry about today. I never thought of you as someone who would stab me in the back, I trust you so much and you mean so much to me and I--”

“--Chuuya--”

“--just don’t want to lose you, you’re literally the only person I ever actually cared for and I just... I just don’t know what--”

“--Chuuya--” 

He couldn’t bring himself to stop. The words plummeted out of his mouth like a waterfall. 

“--I’d do without you, please please don’t be mad at me I’m so fucking sorry and I know it’s shitty and you don’t have to forgive me but just please--”

“Chuuya!” You cupped his cheeks, pulling him out of his tangent and forcing him to look into your gorgeous eyes. “Listen to me! This isn’t your fault. I just... yeah, that girl was a bitch to me and all, but it’s not your fault, okay? And even with that... I was jealous. I just got mad at her and all and I stormed off, I should be the one to say sorry to you,” you said softly, stroking his cheek and taking off one of your hands to brush the strands of ginger hair that had fallen into his face.

Chuuya’s eyes widened. Was this...?

“I wouldn’t have dreamed of leaving you anyway. I...” you took a deep breath, “I’m in love with you, Chuuya. I’ve felt so strongly for you since the start. And you probably don’t feel the same but... I would never want to lose you over something so stupid and silly as this, okay? I’ll always be at your side,” you whispered to him, smiling warmly, a few teardrops clustering around your lashes.

Chuuya tightened his arms around your waist, pulling you closer than ever. He dipped his nose to yours, lips brushing against yours in a soft kiss. He pulled back only slightly, your breaths mingling together, the kiss still lingering on your lips. He tasted like candy.

“I love you too, (Name). So much...” he murmured, kissing your head as one hand wandered to intertwine his fingers with yours.

“Come with me,” you said, looking deep into his blue eyes. “I want to be with you more. And... I know those people you’re with aren’t making you happy, Chuu. I want you to be happy... and I want you to be safe. So...” you leaned up, pressing a chaste kiss against his nose. “Come with me.”

He smiled softly down at you, squeezing your hand in reassurance.

“I will.”

// I hope you enjoy this anon! Sorry that it’s soooo long lololol I had to think out this plot sdjfdjsksfd

[straymackerel]

Hi Tara, congrats on 500 again!! Could I request no.6 with Dazai?

dazai + backpfeifengesicht (german, n.) a face in need of a fist; literally, “slap face.”

➽─{hi nicole, thank you!!! this was a bit of an... experiment hehe. definitely not the direction i'd normally go ✨}─❥

warning(s): stalking; mild yandere. 

it is worth noting that yandere is a horror trope at its core, not a romance trope.

Dazai was mostly harmless... right?

It would’ve done you some good to question this basic premise when he first crept back into your life. The need for concern, however, seemed scarce; the two of you broke up on what seemed to be good terms. What you failed to account for was Dazai’s acute ability to put on a show. Ironically, this talent of his was the very same reason that you cut him off to begin with.

When you first met Dazai, you could’ve sworn he was the wittiest, cleverest, and most charismatic man you’d ever had the pleasure of talking to─but eventually, you noticed that above all, he was hollow. 

Charming as he was, Dazai’s emptiness became most apparent to you once your relationship outlasted all of his previous ones─a careless mistake on his part. It wasn’t often that he kept a plaything for long. Your declarations of love were met with mirror-like reciprocation; your vulnerabilities were matched by few (if any) of his own. Try as you might, your connection to him remained shallow; even though he pretended there was something more to your companionship, you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that the home you built for two in your heart was only occupied by one. 

Truthfully, Dazai fell short of valuing your relationship until he realized he’d fallen out of your favor. He swept you up in the exact same manner he’d done to many others, countless others. You were a commodity to him, but a replaceable one at that─just another mind to pick, another body to ravish. But Dazai was used to having his toys at his very fingertips; he grew a certain fondness of playing his lovers like marionettes. Your desertion made his head spin. Just how did you manage to make your escape? None of his string puppets have ever had their way with him before. And most certainly none of them had been the one to leave.

The first incident took place at your local grocery store. It was when you turned to the checkout line that you saw him, a vestige of your past wandering the linoleum aisles. You blinked once, then twice… still there. 

“Dazai, long time no see! What are you doing in these parts?” 

“Oh hey there! I’m just running some errands,” he said, his lips curled into a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Just running some errands?” you echoed back. “…But Dazai, you live on the other side of the city.”

“Yeah, I know, right? Get this: I couldn’t find crab meat anywhere else in Yokohama today!” the bandaged detective held up the package, all styrofoam and plastic wrap. “I can’t believe I ended up in your backyard looking for this!”

“Oh my goodness, no way!” You were tickled by his silly excuse, so you hardly thought twice about his roundabout explanation.

The second incident happened outside of your home. Dazai led a sulking Atsushi through your neighborhood, stopping right at your front door, apparently on the job. The silver-haired boy stayed back as Dazai made his inquiries.

“Fancy seeing you again! We were asking around for information regarding our latest case. There were some strange sightings on this street,” he said, rather cheerful for someone who consistently avoided his work. You helped the duo as best as you could, which was no help at all; you were unfamiliar with their client’s claims. They left presumably empty-handed.

When you went to check your mailbox that night, it was empty. In and of itself, it wasn’t much cause for alarm, until you realized the weekly newspaper was supposed to come that day. Maybe it’ll turn up late? You tried to brush it off as a coincidence, wanting nothing more than for Dazai’s cover story to bring you some relief.

It did, but not for long.

The third incident occurred at your workplace. Under other circumstances, it might have been a pleasant surprise; a beautiful, oversized bouquet of flowers exchanged hands between the delivery guy, your boss, and finally you. 

“You might want to keep your personal affairs out of the office in the future,” your boss joked at the time, winking. Much to your dismay, your nosy coworkers showered you with whistles and congratulations.

“Who’s the lucky guy?” they asked. You shook your head, shooting all of them a tight-lipped smile. Unease set into your stomach; you hadn’t dated anyone since Dazai. If it was from a friend, they could’ve given it to you in person. If it was from family, there would have been an occasion to celebrate. You waited for your coworkers to walk away before so much as touching the unexpected gift.

Turning the flowers over in your clammy hands, you looked for any indication of who the sender might be. There was no such thing hidden inside of the crinkly pink paper. You untied the satin ribbon, twirling it around your little finger. Your heart dropped when you saw the strip of paper that had fallen from its binding. 

The name “Osamu” was scrawled onto it.

“Dazai, what the fuck?” you spoke into the phone, voice rising and faltering, hands shaking ever so slightly.

“Whoa, whoa, what’s the matter?” he asked, his calm composure contrasting your very obvious distress.

“I’m talking about the flowers, Dazai. What the hell?” He paused as if trying to remember something.

“Oh, shoot. I forgot to give you the heads up,” he said slowly.

“What is that supposed to mean?” you asked.

“I won this giveaway thing out of nowhere.”

“And?” You twisted the ribbon, stretching the threads in the fabric apart.

“Look, I don’t even remember signing up for it, but this cute little flower shop was offering me a free arrangement, and I thought you’d appreciate it the most,” he explained. “They're your favorite flowers, aren’t they? Sorry, I forgot to tell you in advance.”

“…Oh.” You took one of the petals and stroked it between your index finger and thumb. He was right, these really are your favorite─part of the reason why you got so upset. “Well, that’s very sweet of you, but don’t send any more weird gifts in the future.” 

As much as you’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt, it was impossible to overlook his tactlessness. Something wasn’t quite right about his popping into and out of your life. You trashed the bouquet at your earliest convenience; if he tried anything funny again, you’d be sure to shut it down immediately.

Dazai made contact with you again less than a week later.

There was no ambiguity left in his intentions when you found him dining at your favorite restaurant, one you ordered takeout from often. The place was so packed that you didn’t see him until you were inside, allowing him to pounce on you immediately.

“You’ll never believe it: when I was trying to make a reservation for myself, they misheard me and booked a table for two! Care to join?” he offered, standing up from his seat. You looked at him, then at the large bottle of sake on the table, then at the curious waiter who eyed you from his post, then back at Dazai. His eyes shone with the flickering of candlelights, face slightly flushed from drinking alone.

“You’re right, Dazai, I don’t believe it,” you said, making a mental note to get delivery next time. “This is crazy, leave me alone already.” You turned on your heel at once, but as you tried to make your exit, you felt a cold hand wrap around your wrist. Your heart began to thump.

“Hands off,” you snapped at him, stride stunted. You tried to jerk your arm away, but he stared at you with an iron hold and an iron gaze, unrelenting. 

"It's all your fault," he said with mock tenderness. "I can't stop thinking about you."

"That's not my problem," you said, still struggling against his grasp.

“Don’t make me do this the hard way,” he said, voice lowering to a growl. His warning filled you with a mix of fear and annoyance. On one hand, he could easily snap your wrist in this position. On the other hand, did he really think he could get away with that in public?

“Here? Now?” you asked, gesturing towards the other customers. You gasped when he held on impossibly tighter, threatening to crush through flesh and bone. Raising your hand, you had half a mind to smack him across the head when he suddenly let go, the thudding of footsteps breaking his attention.

Saved by the waiter. 

A swarm of employees came to your aid, eager to diffuse the situation. They started to usher you out, clamoring over you: "Are you okay?" "Do you need a cab?" Dazai's features darkened as they took you away, but a twisted smile crossed his face when he noticed you clutching your swollen arm. His last words would ring in your ears that night:

“Oh, darling. I didn’t specify where or when, now, did I?”

--

If you believe you are in an abusive or unsafe relationship, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or try their live chat: https://www.thehotline.org/what-is-live-chat/

--

source(s):

link i: stalking behavior checklist

link ii

link iii

[laceymorganwrites]

Between you and me

Word Count: 1,712

Pairing: Chuuya x reader

Song: Between you and me - Betty Who

Warnings: swearing

It's too crowded in this bar

Chuuya hated it when Dazai dragged him to a bar after a mission. Dazai knew that the ginger couldn´t take his alcohol well. He got drunk way too fast and then made a fool of himself. Especially to you, Chuuya would always hate Dazai for choosing the bar you owned. And he hated himself for telling him about his crush on you. We've been small-talking so far

Dazai and you were talking about the mission. He boasted about how well he executed it, how intelligent and cunning he was. And Chuuya frowned because he knew, he fucking knew how smart Dazai was. It all just made him feel so stupid, so unworthy. I can't tell if we're friends

You grew tired of having to listen to Dazai, of faking a smile and pretending to be interested. You wanted to hear what Chuuya had to say instead. You looked over at Chuuya and gave him an apologetic smile, but he just looked away. In truth he didn´t realize the smile was directed at him. You sure like to make fun of my ex

“I can´t believe you were with such an asshole...” Dazai grumbled and you just rolled your eyes. You didn´t understand why he always brought up your ex, it was unnecessary. “You deserve so much better” he continued and you just sighed. “Dazai, I broke up with him over a year ago, just let it go” you crossed your arms. But we never get past this part

It was like this every time they finished a mission. They went to the bar, talked about your ex and Chuuya stayed quiet. It was none of his business. Yet he couldn´t help but feel jealousy, incredible envy and wrath, rise up inside him every time that bastard was mentioned.

Don't wanna give myself away

He wished he could say how he felt, how much he hated that asshole of an ex, how much he despised Dazai for figuring out his secret. Yet Chuuya hated giving up, even if his current situation didn´t give him any other choice. Of course he wanted to tell you just how beautiful you were but he knew he´d never stand a chance. 'Cause I'm trying so hard not to say, say

Fuck it.

Just between you and me

“Dazai´s right. That guy was a fucking asshole” Chuuya frowned. Dazai just smirked, it was about time the redhead said something. You felt the heat rise in your cheeks as a blush threatened to form on them. You didn´t know why, but somehow Chuuya saying those words did something to you. I can feel something here, wondering if you do, too

He didn´t seem like the kind of person who cared about anything other than himself. And yet he went through the effort to actually say something when he didn´t have to. It made you smile slightly, before you stopped any movement in your lips. It was silly, there was nothing between the two of you. Just between you and me

Dazai hated how you two couldn´t just admit it and confess to each other, after all the affection you two felt for each other was undeniable. At least to him. But somehow the only one who progressed in talking to you was Dazai when it should´ve been Chuuya. Sure, the suicidal hated that brat, but it was painfully obvious how in love you two were and it was painfully agonizing how Chuuya didn´t notice it. Can't help but feeling we're acting like lovers do

Whenever Dazai left frustrated of no achievements, Chuuya always stayed and helped you clean and close up. You always told him that he didn´t have to do that, it made you feel uneasy, as if there would be a debt. But Chuuya didn´t stop at just that, sometimes when he´d be off work, he´d go grocery shopping with you for the bar. Or sometimes he would even get you alcohol from his own money. But the sweetest thing he did was to walk you home after work. Why can't we just address it?

He didn´t have to do this, and yet he always made sure you were safe. He beat up the rude customers you got, glared at everyone who dared make a lewd comment about you, he was the reason you felt safe. But then again he didn´t do this because of you, he did it for the Mafia, because your bar just so happened to be their favorite. Why don't we start undressin'

But you would be lying if you said that you didn´t wish for him to do it for you. Was there even anybody in this world who could resist Chuuya Nakahara? You doubted it. And you also doubted that he would choose you out of all his admirers, but that didn´t stop you from dreaming about it. 'Til there's nothing between us In between us, in between us

Some days you just wished the bar was empty and it was only you and Chuuya. But then again, that would be a curse for the man. In between you and me?

Imagining all those things should make you happy, in your imagination this barrier between the two of you wasn´t there. Chuuya liked you as much as you liked him and saying the things you wanted to him wasn´t the worst idea ever. But then again, it was only imagination.

You've got one hand on the wheel

It was just one of those nights in which Chuuya offered you a ride home. Why he did it he didn´t know, well of course he wanted you to get home safe, but it was just so hard when you didn´t feel the same. He tried his best to concentrate on driving and the road, but it was so hard with you sitting next to him. Slide the other over, make it real

It was so hard when all he wanted to do was pull over and kiss you. Chuuya wanted to tell you how pretty you looked in the moon light, how soft your hair looked and how good it would look with his hands messing it up. How much he wanted to make you his, to be the reason for your smile. Sitting at the red light, tensions are high

It was dead silent, none of you dared talk. And when you waited at a red light Chuuya could swear that by now everyone near could hear his heart beating. Vibe you can cut with a knife

It was just beyond uncomfortable, it was as if all those unspoken words and feelings strangled you and sucked out all of your life energy. Baby, tell me how you feel

Luckily you arrived at your place soon enough, well you wouldn´t have minded spending more time with Chuuya…

Come on and give yourself away

“Thanks for the ride, Chuuya” you smiled sadly. “Not a problem” his heart jumped when you smiled, even though it was a sad one, he couldn´t help but smile back excitedly. 'Cause all I want is you to say, say

It was just the effect you had on him, he couldn´t help himself but be happy around you.

“Driving you home is actually my highlight of the day” he spoke before thinking.

Just between you and me

“That´s hard to believe, it must be quite bothersome” you chuckled, there was no way in hell he just said those words. Chuuya almost choked on his breath, how could you not realize that he meant it? I can feel something here, wondering if you do, too

“I mean it. How could it not be? It´s the only time of day I don´t want to punch everyone in the face, Dazai´s not there to annoy me and I get to spend time with you and that´s always a plus” Chuuya always got defensive over you even if it was you who put yourself down. Just between you and me

You blushed at his words and looked at the floor, this must be a dream. Can't help but feeling we're acting like lovers do

But when you looked up again, Chuuya was still looking at you with a lovesick smile and a look in his eyes that you couldn´t read. You didn´t know what kind of bravery struck you, but you went up to him and kissed his cheek in gratitude. Why can't we just address it?

“I also cherish the time we spend together” you told him, trying not to stumble over your words. Why don't we start undressin'

Chuuya couldn´t believe it, you actually meant it? 'Til there's nothing between us In between us, in between us In between you and me? 'Til there's nothing between us In between us, in between us In between you and me?

“Wait...are you serious?” Chuuya was still unsure about it, he wanted to believe it so badly, but he couldn´t be this lucky, now could he?

Ah, nothing between you and me Ah, nothing between you and me Why can't we just address it?

“Yes, Chuuya, I am. If you haven´t noticed yet, I do like you” you came closer to him and pulled him in for a hug. Why don't we start undressin' 'Til there's nothing between us In between us, in between us In between you and me?

Inch by inch, you're coming Closer into me

This was really happening, Chuuya realized and slowly but surely hugged you back.

Just between you and me I can feel something here, wondering if you do, too Just between you and me Can't help but feeling we're acting like lovers do Why can't we just address it? Why don't we start undressin' 'Til there's nothing between us In between us, in between us In between you and me?

Just between you and me I can feel something here, wondering if you do, too Just between you and me Can't help but feeling we're acting like lovers do Why can't we just address it? Why don't we start undressin' 'Til there's nothing between us In between us, in between us In between you and me? 'Til there's nothing between us In between us, in between us In between you and me?

[shannie-writes]

Shakespeare Route, Part 6

Part 6 - “Oh Yeah, It’s All Coming Together”

- Rewind back two seconds ago when Dazai explains the shizniz about the ribbon color coding

- MC has a flashback to the convo she overheard of the Nobledicks where they gossiped about Will sacrificing a friend to Big Theatre. She tells herself it’s totally just a rumor. Totally.

- MC: “Yeah, so how do you think the guy died”

Dazai: “Now I’m no mystery writing expert like that Arthot dude, but it’s gotta be something like an accident or illness lol silly Toshiko-san”

MC: “Not my name”

Dazai: “Oh, ofc, Matsuko-san lmao. Also we should probably leave that dude to mourn in peace or something, all this chain stalking is weird af lol”

- They both watch Will for a minute and MC thinks that he looks rather emotionless, considering he’s standing in front of a grave and all that and wonders what Will’s thinking. Dazai puts a hand on her shoulder all buddy buddy and tells her that if she goes any closer to Will, there would be no going back. He’s rather serious compared to usual, but--

- Dazai: “Oh ya, I remembered something important lol”

MC: “What’s that?”

Dazai: “I was gonna do boiled tofu for dinner lolol”

MC: “wtf can you even buy tofu in London??”

Dazai: “lolol mebbe. But let’s force Sebas-kun to make it instead”

And he walks away, MC trailing behind him.

- cut to MC at a busy bar later that evening with Theo and Arthur

- Arthur: “Why do you look upset?”

MC: “Anyone would if they were stolen away from their comfy kitchen”

Theo: “We’re just taking the dog for a walk”

MC: “You could have at least let me get changed ffs”

Arthur: “idk you look pretty sexy to me eyyyy”

Theo: “Proper fittings for a pet”

- The food and drinks come out and Theo warns you about the food and not to burn your mouth. Arthur describes the bar’s specialty, Fire of Hell Cheesy Potatoes, and says he burned himself too so watch out. MC says it all looks delicious and Theo, per the norm, says that the pancakes are particularly popular (he probably eats enough that the kitchen sure thinks they are lol) because of some special whipped cream or something

- Arthur: “Yeah, so let’s make a toast, toots!”

MC: “uhhhh for what?”

Arthur: “That our relationship is growing closer eyyyy”

Theo: “You are an embarrassment to the family”

MC: “You two sure are close drinking buddies”

Theo: “Arthot drags me here while he goes fishing”

MC: “tf is fishing”

Theo: “Fishing for ladies”

MC: “Ahhhh”

Arthur: “I’m not fishing tonight. Because I already have MC eyyyy”

And apparently that’s the toast because Arthur and MC knock their glasses together.

Theo: “What a stupid toast”

- MC watches Theo and Arthur banter and thinks about how if she were alone, she would think of Will too much. Which, of course, leads her to thinking of Will too much anyway. She gets upset with herself with trying to think of something to do for him for saving her twice now.

- Arthur: “What’s wrong?”

MC: “What isn’t in this world?”

Arthur: “I must say I prefer your smile. Eat up, babe!”

Theo: “Hurry and eat before it gets cold or something”

- MC begins to eat when there’s a commotion all of a sudden. A lady at the bar starts screaming out of nowhere! The lady is piss drunk and wailing and causing a huge-ass scene.

- Drunk-ass Lady: “My fiance was killed by that guy for his creation!”

- The bar owner kicks her out because she’s being a fuckin’ nuisance and she’s apologizing the whole way out. Arthur asks the bar owner what the fuck is going on and he says that that lady is a regular and does this shit often. They all laugh and MC lets the convo go in one ear and out the other because, you’ll never guess, she’s thinking about Will again. More specifically, the rumors about Will killing a guy for Big Theatre like the Nobledicks had gossiped about.

- MC: Holy shit, this is way too many coincidences all at once and those stupid rumors have gotta be true now or something “Ahaha so, uhh, what if that person who killed that drunk lady’s man was a writer or something?”

End Scene

[salamanderergfanfictions]

BSD, mult. chars, Yosano, Atsushi, Chuuya POVs, fight with Dos.

Title: The Narrow Space Between Breaths

Notes: The majority of this was written before season 3, yet, I was reading the manga at the time, so it weirdly contains spoilers as well as totally disregards it.  I also will be the first one to tell you--I don’t fucking know how Rashomon works.  I just don’t, if someone would explain it to me, that’d be great.  Also, if someone would just like to explain to me the...whole plot of BSD that would be great, kthx.

The take-away is, I took hella liberties, I had hella fun writing it, so the most I can wish for is if someone enjoyed reading it at least a little bit.  Thanks!

Summary: A fight with Dostoevsky, and the aftermath.

“How fortunate that you are all in the same spot, it makes things easier,” Dostoyevsky smirked. “I’m going to rid the world of unsightly Ability users with a godlike power. You can’t stop me yourself, Dazai. Only gods can duel one another, and I don’t plan on being challenged.”

Dazai’s eyes widened.

“Armed Agency members,” Dazai’s voice echoed across the warehouse, gaining everyone’s attention by the urgency in which he spoke, “Protect the chibi!”

“Who?” Kunikida yelled.

Dazai pointed to Chuuya with a dramatic swoosh of his arm.

“What?” Chuuya started as all the eyes of the Agency members turned to him, “I don’t need any of your shitty people protecting me!”

“Don’t worry, Mister Fancy Hat City Guy!” Kenji said, raising his fists over his head, “We’ll protect you!”

“I don’t need your—that is not my name!”

“Port Mafia, do the same. Defend your executive with your lives,” Mori said calmly, leveling an intense glare at Dostoyevsky. “And if there are any of our men left standing should Chuuya-san die, I will kill them myself.”

“Hey, hey,” Chuuya’s eyebrows shot up, deeply confused at the concern Mori was showing as well as the threat against his subordinates, “What the hell is going on?”

“Chuuya-chan is the biggest threat to Dostoyevsky’s plan right now,” Dazai said, more for the benefit of the Agency members, “He just said it, ‘Only gods can duel one another’.”

“But what the hell does that mean?” Kunikida shouted.

“While it’s true that I’m the only one that can match Dostoyevsky intellectually, this isn’t just a battle of wits. And in terms of pure power, even god-like power,” Dazai left off to glance at Chuuya, a dark, assessing glint in his eye that knocked the other man back a couple of years and dozens of missions. “In its raw form, there is no match for Chuuya’s Ability.”

Chuuya grimaced and looked down at his gloves, “You fucker. So, I guess that means...”

“If you would,” Dazai nodded, before forcing a cheesy smile on his face and tilting his head, “Only if you want to, of course.”

“You fucker,” Chuuya repeated harshly, tugging off his gloves and throwing them to the ground. “You better stop me, when it gets too—”

“I will.”

Chuuya’s breathing quickened, ”None of that suicidal bystander bullshit. You void me when you get a chance.”

“Have I ever let you down before?”

“Don’t ask me a question with an answer like that right now!”

“Chuuya,” Dazai said in warning, his teasing smile gone as he watched his Agency members fighting Dostoyevsky’s henchmen.

“I got it.” Chuuya grit his teeth and put the appropriate amount of dramatics into his next words as he stared at his hands waiting for the black and red stains to overcome him, to rewrite who he was and control his body as if Chuuya Nakahara never existed in the first place.

“‘O, grantors of—’”

He was cut off as a bullet bent around him and ricocheted off the floor, it was high caliber enough that a large divot was left in the cement. Chuuya turned around to glare at the sniper laying on the rafters above everyone.

“...That could’ve hit my hat,” Chuuya said darkly, clenching his fists in outrage, “I’m gonna kill that fucker first.”

“Actually, Chuuya would be much more useful if he focused on Dost—”

“‘O, grantors of dark disgrace,’” Chuuya recited again, forgoing dramatics this time for pure fury, “‘Do not wake me again.’”

—

There was a lot of carnage, a lot of blood, a lot of dust, rocks, and the groaning, broken, dying, dead bodies scattered throughout.

Yosano came to after healing herself, blinking blood out of her eyes and coughing up dust. She wiped a line of spit and blood from her lips as she pushed herself up with one hand, looking around for her comrades. Dazai had yelled for everyone to retreat from the building not long after whatever Nakahara had become...the pure hell that had been unleashed. Yosano had seen destructive Abilities before, but never anything as raw and indiscriminate as that, not when being channeled through a person—a person who supposedly was their ally. The last thing she had seen before turning her back to try to make it out was Nakahara sending a massive black hole toward his own men, cackling madly from blood-soaked lips while doing it. The sight and sound had chilled her to the bone. She hadn’t envied Dazai having to wade into that chaos for the chance to get skin on skin contact, though she knew that was the only hope they had to make it stop.

It was quiet now, quieter, at least.

Yosano gave one more hacking cough and stayed kneeling on the floor till she was sure her shaking was under control.  One of her heel tips had snapped off, which was going to make it difficult to balance, but she wasn’t about to walk around without anything covering her feet, not with all the jagged pieces of stone, rebar, and nails littering the floor.  The clothes and shoes Yosano was wearing were beyond salvage, though even she would not have wanted this kind of excuse to go shopping.

Thankfully, she hadn’t gotten pinned down beneath any columns or large stone slabs. It would have been horribly inconvenient to be crushed and just waiting to slowly bleed out before being able to heal herself, over and over as the cycle repeated. Yosano had seen the kind of mental break that kind of stress could induce on someone second hand, she had no desire to experience it—

Her eyes went wide.

“Kuni-Kunikida!” She yelled, getting to her feet quickly, wobbling on her uneven heels, to hurry to her friend’s side.  The man was further away from the door than she was, which meant he hadn’t given up on trying to get Dazai to leave with him, even as load-bearing columns were being destroyed.  He was limp on the floor, the longest strands of his ponytail were quickly being stained from blond to red.  The puddle of blood and hair were stretching away from Kunikida’s head like the corona of the sun.  I might have enjoyed it, Yosano thought in fragments, each step on the cement floor jolting a different thought into her brain, I might have thought it was pretty, maybe I would be laughing…

Yosano tumbled gracelessly to Kunikida’s side, her hands trembling as she reached toward his neck, his skin cold as ice against the pads of her fingers.

“Idiot,” She cursed in relief as she felt a thready pulse almost the same instant her butterflies gently landed on his cheek.

Once he was safe to move, she began dragging him toward the door herself, an exhausting task as she did her best to avoid the worst of the debris as well as keep balanced. Eventually she had to stop and take a break before attempting to continue, barely holding back a frustrated yell.

“I got him,” A voice behind her said, a head of bright blond hair accompanying it. “Is he all healed?”

Yosano gave Kenji a quick once over, but the young boy looked as hearty and hale as he ever did and nodded, “Yes, just get him out of the building for now.  Is Tanizaki with you?”

“Yep!” Kenji smiled, “He had to call Naomi first, and I think she’s yelling at him ‘cause he has a silly expression on his face.”

Yosano brushed the comment aside easily, “Come back in when he’s done, I still don’t see Dazai or Atsushi anywhere and we need all the hands we can get.”

“Okay!” Kenji flashed a thumbs-up before lifting Kunikida up enthusiastically.  Yosano almost laughed at the sight of the two of them walking away, a young boy carrying a man almost two times his body length like he was an overgrown baby, his legs hanging off the side and skimming the ground. Instead, she let out a heavy sigh and looked around again, only a few people were up and moving now, and none of them in an off-white coat or with white hair.

“Yosano-sensei, if you’re done staring into space, your assistance could be used,” Mori called out to her, his voice lilting and recognizable in a strange way.  Yosano felt an irritated twinge go up her spine as she glared at him and that disgusting smirk on his face.  But she was still a doctor, and there were people, mostly Port Mafia members, bleeding all around who needed her help.  Just because Mori was here didn’t mean it was the same as the other time.

Over the next few moments, muscle memory took over and Yosano quickly got to work on the people around her. As expected, Mori was unscathed, almost suspiciously, taking into account where he had been when the major wall had collapsed, but he was tending to the injuries he could as well as performing a kind of reverse triage for Yosano.

“He’s dying,” Mori could be heard saying in a bored voice and Yosano would rush over, regardless if that person was Port Mafia. Working like this with him as a partner brought up bad memories and a sickening feeling of familiarity that she fought hard to ignore. She concentrated on her work, the broken bones, the gashes and gaping wounds.  Most of her own had just been wounded superficially, only Kunikida had, unfortunately and thankfully, been the worst. Kenji had left him leaning against a miraculously still standing wall outside in the sunshine, dazed, covered in his own blood, but not a scratch or bruise on him.  Atsushi made quick work of a rock that had pinned him down toward the back of the building, pushing it off with transformed tiger arms, and then had tried to make a hasty retreat in the wake of Yosano’s generous, yet overzealous, offer to heal him.  Much to Yosano’s delight, he had not been fast enough.  He was now lifting stone slabs along with Kenji as Tanizaki very reluctantly played nurse to Mori. The young boy could be heard making noises of disgust every once and a while followed by Mori chuckling.

Yosano opened her mouth to snap at the doctor to leave him alone—

“Did you hear that?” Tanizaki said, his head perking up, but he didn’t move from his task of keeping the Black Lizard member from bleeding out. “Did anyone hear that?”

Yosano wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, “Hear what?”

“I did,” Mori said with a curious tone. “It sounded like—”

A cough.

Kenji pushed and lifted concrete pieces until the infinite black of Rashomon could be seen under it. As soon as there was no more reason to be activated, Rashomon returned to its owner, unveiling what it had been protecting.

“Hello~” Dazai greeted them all chipperly, looking as if he was perfectly at home underneath a ton of rocks, two Port Mafia members, and covered in blood.

Yosano raised her eyebrow at his tone, “I almost got my hopes up seeing that much blood, but it’s too bad my Ability won’t work on you.”

Dazai grinned at her, “The only thing I’ve been in danger of is being bored to death by my abysmal company. It’s such a disappointment I wasn’t able to be buried alive with two beautiful women instead, I wouldn’t have minded that as much.”

Akutagawa let out a cough. Despite Rashomon having returned to a coat and the danger of being crushed gone, he still hadn’t moved from his shielding position over Chuuya and Dazai, supporting his body on shaking arms.  Chuuya was pinned below Akutagawa and on top of Dazai, bleeding heavily from his mouth and head, soaking Dazai’s shirt and coat.  He appeared to merely be unconscious, but Yosano could see he was breathing shallowly.  She couldn’t even begin to fathom the physical toll an Ability like that took on the body of the one using it, Nakahara had looked like he was being crushed from the inside out just a few moments after activating.  But from how he and Dazai had been talking before, this probably wasn’t the first time, which meant he had survived before and would survive again.  As long as Dazai got to him in time.  Yosano wondered if she would be able to trust Dazai that much with her life, deciding on the answer before she had even finished the thought.

“This one’s been coughing in my face for the past ten minutes,” Dazai said drolly, lifting his chin up at Akutagawa. “Tuberculosis would be such a terrible way to die. Too slow.”

“Give the hat guy here,” Yosano said gruffly.

Dazai held up his hands, “What, do you think I’ve been clutching him to my chest the whole time?  He fell on me, and then this idiot fell on both of us, ruining a perfectly good death by crushing.  It would have been fast and lethal.  Akutagawa, get off.”

Akutagawa finally seemed to come back to himself and rolled off to the side.  In the back of her mind Yosano made a note to check on him as soon as she was done with the Port Mafia executive.  She carefully turned Chuuya on his back, without any help from Dazai, who merely stayed laying down on the ground like it was a comfortable bed.  Or perhaps he was imagining it was a coffin with the way his hands were folded peacefully against his chest.

“Is he dying?” Dazai asked, a smile creeping on to his face.  Yosano gave him an answering grin of her own.

“Not fast enough,” She said gleefully, raising her machete she had pulled out of nowhere, and letting loose a truly terrifying cackle.

--

A few feet away from them, as Yosano worked, Akutagawa was pushing himself to his feet, stumbling away from the wreckage with a determined look on his face, before tripping over some smaller pieces of concrete.  He went to his hands and knees hard, his breathing slowing as sweat rolled from his forehead and down his face.  He squeezed his eyes shut and a few more drops hit the floor.

“Are you okay?” Atsushi bent down next to Akutagawa slowly, laying a gentle hand on the other’s shoulder.

His hand was roughly shrugged off as Akutagawa got to his feet with the same dogged determination as last time.

“Get off me,” He leveled a glare at Atsushi, though the effect was diminished by the paleness of the other’s face and the tremors of fatigue running through his body. Atsushi backed off anyway, holding his hands up with a nervous smile.

“I was just—”

“Shut up,” Akutagawa snapped, “I don’t need your help.”

Atsushi watched Akutagawa take a few more shaky steps before collapsing to the ground again. This time he stayed down, his breathing coming out in ragged gasps even in unconsciousness. Atsushi moved to check on Akutagawa again without the other being able to refuse his help, but another Port Mafia member with long black hair reached him first.  The man in black gently moved Akutagawa’s head to his lap and although Atsushi couldn’t see the other man’s mouth, he could tell he was smiling.

“He reached his limit under there, continually using Rashomon in a defensive position against tons of rock, knowing any slip of control could mean his executive getting smashed,” Dazai explained in a bored tone of voice.

“And his mentor,” Atsushi added with a meaningful look, “You were in there with him too.”

Dazai shrugged.

“You should probably thank him,” Atsushi pushed, not bothering to tear his eyes away from Akutagawa and the Port Mafia member to look at Dazai’s reaction. “I know I will.”

“Thank him?  If he had practiced using Rashomon defensively when I wanted him to, it wouldn’t have taken that much concentration in the first place and he wouldn’t be in this mess.”

Atsushi pursed his lips, “I’m still going to thank him.”

“Atsushi-kun is so thoughtful,” Dazai’s voice lilted in his ear, “Doing unnecessary things.”

The comment made Atsushi frown even more, and he turned around to retort, but Dazai was already walking away.  At first Atsushi thought Dazai was hanging his head because he was somewhat cowed by what Atsushi had said, but that didn’t seem likely.  Atsushi watched him for a few more seconds in confusion, as Dazai slowly walked a random path through the rubble, his eyes focused on the ground, before understanding.  Though he couldn’t think of anything that Dazai had with him that he would have been able to lose.  Maybe it was his book on a thousand ways to commit suicide.

Atsushi turned back toward Akutagawa, intending to attempt to approach the other man again, but something caught his eye several feet away.  It was wedged between two large pieces of cement, bent out of shape and covered in a light layer of dust, but still recognizable.  Atsushi used his tiger arms to push the pieces apart, pulling it out gently once there was enough room. He was pleased when it almost immediately retained its former shape.

“Dazai-san,” Atsushi called out, holding the item up in his hands, turning it, “This?”

Dazai turned around, his eyes going wide in surprise for a half second as he saw what Atsushi was holding up.

“Heh,” He let out a light chuckle as he walked forward, “Like I said, Atsushi-kun is too thoughtful.”

Atsushi beamed and held it out for Dazai to take, “I wasn’t the one looking for it.”

Dazai shrugged nonchalantly, slapping it against his leg to try to get even more of the dust off.  He held the object up and squinted at it, assessing, “But seriously, isn’t this the ugliest hat you’ve ever seen?”

--

Chuuya felt light and bubbly, like his body and insides had been given a power wash.  He also felt strangely naked with his coat, hat, and gloves missing in the wreckage of the building.  Chuuya didn’t want to look around for them though, he didn’t want to see any of the bodies of his subordinates that had been caught in the crossfire, either when part of the building had collapsed or by his own hand. Mori and the Agency’s doctor had been able to heal some, but Chuuya could still remember the looks on the faces of the ones he had aimed at himself, their screams as limbs were blown off or the silence as they were swallowed up into nothing.  Chuuya looked down at the pale skin of his hands, clenching them hard enough that his short nails dug into his palm and they ached from the tension.

“Shame, even Yosano-sensei’s Ability couldn’t fix your ugly face,” Dazai quipped from behind, extremely disappointed when Chuuya did not react.  He could see the other man was still dazed from the aftereffects of Thou Shalt Not Die, a bright, glassy look in his eyes as he stared at his lap.  It was the best shape Dazai had ever seen Chuuya in after using Corruption, he was kinda pissed about being robbed of being able to see the stupid face Chuuya made as he slept.  It had been too dark in their makeshift tomb and Dazai had to perpetually turn his head away every time Akutagawa coughed.  It had been doubly annoying that neither of them had even responded just a little to his genuine, sincere attempts at a meaningful conversation.

“Here,” Dazai shoved a black bundle under his nose, sitting down beside him once Chuuya had taken the clothes with a shocked expression. “Close your mouth, I can smell the wine from here.”

Chuuya blinked slowly as he looked down at the pile.  His coat was folded in a precise square with his pair of gloves laid neatly on top. There wasn’t a speck of dust on either of them.  Chuuya put on the gloves first, feeling more like himself once the leather covered his hands and the cotton-headed feeling of the doctor’s Ability began to fade.

“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know where—” Chuuya was cut off as Dazai plopped his hat on his head with a put-upon sigh, pressing down till it covered Chuuya’s eyes.

“Yes, though it pained me to even touch such a tacky thing.”

Chuuya righted the hat on his head, “You didn’t wait around as long you usually do before stopping me.”

“Chuuya was bringing down the whole building and Dostoevsky escaped, so there was no more need. Besides, it wasn’t as much fun watching this time.”

“He, what?  Escaped?”

Dazai shook his head, “Don’t worry about it now.  We’ll see him again, you can avenge your subordinates.”

Chuuya absentmindedly shook his head, “I won’t be able to avenge my subordinates unless I kill myself.”

Dazai grinned slyly, leaning back on his arms, “What a strange mood you are in this evening.  You’re not my usual type, but I suppose an exception could be made considering our history.  How about it, does Chuuya want to die with me?  We can spend eternity in the afterlife together.”

“Ugh, I had been taking peace in the fact that I wouldn’t have to deal with you in death, but you’ve just soured that thought.”

“Chuuya started it.”

“I was—” Chuuya started, his voice coming out hoarse and tight, “I was saying that the one who killed my subordinates was me, only my death would avenge theirs.”

“I can follow a basic conversation, you know.  I’m not as dumb as you.”

“Shut up.  I’m obviously not going to do that though, so…I can only offer compensation to their families, if they had any, maybe donate to a charity or something.”

“How altruistic of the Mafia member.”

“Not altruism, business. The Port Mafia donates money to a lot of charities, you should remember that.”

“I do, it is a good strategy.  A great strategy, one might say.  A genius strategy—”

“Shut up.”

“It’s not going to help. Not you, anyway.  Donating an outrageous sum of money to people in need won’t get the screaming out of your head, the terror-stricken faces, and the knowledge that you’ve killed people who were under your command.  Who looked at you like you were a monster in their last moments.”

Chuuya swallowed heavily, missing the numb, tingling feeling he had before this, wishing he could go back to that time a mere few minutes ago when he felt like he was floating above his body, that none of this was real.  He didn’t want to hear what Dazai was saying, it was insensitive, and ill-timed, but nothing that hadn’t already been ringing around in his own head.  Chuuya had killed people before, people he knew, people he didn’t, men and women, young and old, but he had always done it with the knowledge that they were enemies of the Port Mafia.  He had always done it in his right mind, for the past four years at least, and even before then, Dazai had been there to control him. This had all been Dazai’s plan today, a stupid plan, in hindsight.  Unleashing Corruption in such a small space with so many of their allies around, it had been a Hail Mary, and it had failed.  Dostoevsky had escaped, and as usual, the Mafia had suffered many more casualties than the Agency.  Chuuya’s authority might have even been damaged over this with the survivors, and he couldn’t help the small thought eating away in the back of his brain that perhaps Dazai had done this on purpose.

Chuuya slowly brought his gaze to Dazai’s, narrowing his eyes, trying to assess what was going on behind that dead stare.  Maybe Chuuya would be able to see something to prove that Dazai had planned all this in an effort to cripple the Port Mafia and take down Dostoevsky all at once, if that good-goody two shoes persona he showed the Agency was really just a big act like Chuuya had always suspected.  Chuuya had seen Dazai do similar things when they were younger, he wouldn’t put it past him now.  Dazai might have been able to change the color of his clothes overnight, but re-dyeing the soul took a lot more effort.

“So don’t b—” Dazai paused to reconsider what he was going to say, either ignoring or unaware of Chuuya’s suspicious stare, “Speaking from experience, performing a couple of good deeds doesn’t completely erase your past wrongdoings, nor does it lessen the burden on your soul, or magically make you a better person.  But it helps, if you really try, it does help.  It’s all you can really do anyway.”

Chuuya’s eyes widened, that wasn’t flippant or teasing.  It didn’t make light of the deaths that Chuuya had caused or taunt him for caring about them. In fact, it had almost seemed…honest. Chuuya’s heart started beating faster as a thought occurred to him.

“Is that why you left the Mafia?” He asked, pushing himself into Dazai’s space, deciding to quickly take advantage of the rare sight of a serious, candid Dazai.  Dazai looked taken aback by the question, his eyes popped open comically, and Chuuya grinned at having caught Dazai by surprise for once. He spent the next few moments in breathless silence, aware that should Dazai deign to answer, almost four years of doubt and hurt feelings could be resolved.

“Yes, and no,” Dazai finally said.

Chuuya dropped away from his former partner, his former executive, “What does, what does that mean? What kind of shitty, ambivalent answer is that?”

“It means yes and no, Chuuya-chan,” Dazai sing-songed out, his eyes squeezing shut as a large grin spread over his face.

Chuuya’s shoulders fell, and his eyes slowly drifted back to staring at his hands, clenching and unclenching them with the calming feeling of tension from the leather against his knuckles.  These are a new pair, He thought absentmindedly.

Chuuya knew he wouldn’t be getting anything else out of Dazai now, the other man’s mask had already been put on, the walls were fortified, and Chuuya had never been allowed past them. He may have been given glimpses, but never trusted with more than that.  Dazai…Dazai had seen everything of his, whether he had waited for Chuuya’s trust or not.

“Thanks,” Chuuya said after a moment, unable to think of anything else and deeming it innocuous, and true, enough for him to get away with.  No matter what he told himself, it felt like dust coating his tongue. “Asshole.”

Dazai’s smile stayed as big and fake and cheesy as ever, “Of course, partner.”

Chuuya looked away. The conversation still felt unfinished, an inhale that had been stopped before filling the lungs, incomplete and unsatisfying. It hung in the air around them, permeated by dust and rubble and death, by all the words Chuuya wanted to say, and all the words Dazai wouldn’t ever.

The silence stretched on between them, as usual.

How long would this one last?

--

End

[unlimitedskyeproductions]

100 Random Things About Daisuke Okana

1: goes by the name of Daisuke Okana 2: 21 years old 3: born on a Wednesday at 8:47 AM on February 29th 4: works as a detective 5: always has a way of fucking things up (and thus gained the nickname "Ohno" - used in the context of  "Oh no, Daisuke!") 6: generally pretty chill and laid back about shit 7: always the calm one 8: despite this he gets really excited way too easily over the stupidest, simplest shit 9: smooth-talking charmer who's also kind of an airhead 10: knows he has a tendency to fuck shit up so he always goes out of his way to do better - though he usually just fucks up even worse than before 11: really great stamina 12: doesn't really care for material stuff  at all, but when someone gives him a materialistic gift he cherishes that item like it's some kind of blessed artifact 13: spends about 10 hours a day just snacking or eating 14: generally whenever you see him there's a 70% chance he'll be eating something 15: sweet but very very clumsy 16: can't seem to get his shit together 17: the only kinds of music he ever listens to is either hardcore dubstep or really shitty pop music (Skrillex and Britney Spears come to mind) 18: lovES CATS 19: dedicated smoker and has been for 7 years 20: bisexual as hell 21: has a lot of really unusual quirks 22: his social cues are kinda fucked sometimes 23: he's either really great at reading people's emotions or absolutely hopeless at it, just depends on how his day's been so far 24: never goes anywhere without his lucky penny tucked safely into his coat pocket 25: he's a super sweet guy and he absolutely Can Not take it when people are upset with him because he feels so damn guilty about it 26: really fucking smart despite being such an airhead (university graduate with honors) 27: possibly might have some level of high-functioning autism but nobody's really sure 28: hates memes but at the same time is a total memelord 29: he has a really bad habit of using the office computer to send  funny cat videos to his coworkers 30: His Voice Is Like Fucking Silk 31: if he hears one of his favorite songs on the radio he'll immediately start singing along no matter where he is 32: instantly becomes Illiterate without his reading glasses 33: manscaping expert (seriously this guy's entire body is fucking  h a i r l e s s) 34: MASTER OF MARIOKART AND STREET FIGHTER 35: loves zombie horror movies (his favorite movie of all time is Shaun of the Dead) 36: afraid of thunderstorms and the dark (but shhhhhh that's a secret) 37: owns three cats - Mr. Pickles, Bowtie and Whiskey (whom was supposed to be named Whiskers but his phone changed it and it sort of stuck) 38: always seems to have exactly what you need at that exact moment - need a pair of scissors? he has em. need an extra sock? he has that too. also snacks 39: here's a secret - he has no idea how to tie a tie (all his ties are clip-ons) 40: here's another secret - he has a three year old daughter (the marriage didn't work out and now he's only allowed to see her three times a week because his ex is a spiteful bitch) 41: he's a very good daddy tho and his daughter practically worships him 42: can't cook whatsofuckingever 43: loves the wintertime because then he gets to run around in the snow 44: airheaded man-child 45: has a scar on his left shoulder from that one time he casually took a bullet 46: actually kind of artistic and doodles a lot 47: one time his neighbors called the cops on him because they heard him screaming and stuff getting broken and they thought he was being murdered - in reality a bat had flown in and he was having a very difficult time getting rid of it (the cops helped him out with that tho) 48: LOVES pulling stupid pranks on his coworkers, especially his partner 49: his partner kinda hates him apparently so he's always doing dumb shit to try and make him smile - often fails 50: collects socks (only the cool kinds with awesome patterns though) 51: he'll generally dress however you tell him to but you're in for one hell of a struggle if you tell him he can't wear his favorite coat and his favorite pair of fluorescent green glow in the dark socks 52: he'll get really aggressive when he's protecting his loved ones but most of the time he's just a gigantic marshmallow 53: he hates when he makes people upset with him and he'll pull out all the stops to get that person to forgive him 54: he watches a lot of cartoons with his daughter and long story short he's memorized every single fucking episode of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic (unintentionally, of course. dude ain't no brony.) 55: LOVES BOARD GAMES 56: super athletic and goes to the gym every night after work 57: will not hesitate to go on a 45 minute rant about why the best television show in history was Doctor Who 58: a bit of a slacker but dependable as fuck when it matters most 59: hates spiders 60: his hair is suuuuuuuuuper fluffy and soft 61: he'll let his daughter give him makeovers and dress him up like a princess 62: he doesn't mind this at all and the only thing that matters is seeing her smile 63: one time after a visit with his daughter he came to work he next day and completely forgot the fact he had a bunch of brightly colored hairpins in his hair and a Hello Kitty headband on (he was pretty chill about it when people told him this information) 64: his number one weakness is food 65: loves ramen noodles oh my fUCKING GOD he loves rame noodles 66: he loves getting praise and compliments from people because he knows he always messes things up so when he gets praised it makes him feel extra special 67: he'll usually let you say whatever you want to him and tease him to your heart's content - he generally just does not care if you're poking fun at him because he only wants to make people smile. and if you're at your happiest when you're making fun of him, well, he'll let it continue 68: 100% cannot function properly in his daily life without his morning cup of coffee (with whiskey added, obviously) 69: despite having an ex-wife and a kid he HAS actually been with dudes in the past (that's actually part of the reason why his wife left him) 70: WILL FUCKING NOT let people mistreat his loved ones 71: cancer survivor 72: generally lives off of McDonald's, rice, and ramen noodles 73: he'll go grocery shopping like a normal but usually not unless it's the day before his daughter gets dropped off (he's fine living off the bare minimum, but he'll be fucking DAMNED if he lets his daughter eat fucking ramen noodles for lunch) 74: he's actually SUPER ticklish 75: an expert at guns and shit 76: very knowledgeable about cheese????? for some weird reason????? 77: he can literally rant for two hours on all the types of cheese and how good or bad they are compare to others 78: recently he had to buy a new phone because he couldn't turn off the capslock and there was a whole week whrere he was just scREAMING AT HIS COWORKERS THROUGH TEXT and it was very awkward 79: he can and will fall asleep literally fucking anywhere 80: despite being a dedicated smoker he NEVER smokes around his daughter EVER 81: when he's not working a case he'll spend every second of his free time either working to get full custody of his daughter or trying to get his partner to open up more and be more sociable 82: loves singing and playing this prized  guitar and he'll often do karaoke night at the bar on weekends 83: not an alcoholic but he will go to his favorite bar at least three nights a week because he's super great friends with the bartender (who also happens to be his best friend from high school) 84: he won't get drunk on those nights and while he may have a drink or two, but generally he just drinks water since he's there to socialize, not get wasted 85: loves sweet foods and desserts 86: juuuuuuuuust a little bit vain 87: also sort of flirtatious 88: just a little bit tho 89: always VERY enthusiastic about the smallest things (you could tell him to meet you at a fancy hotel and he'd literally just stand in front of the room's door for three minutes just staring at the doorknob like "check out this awesome doorknob! it's so shiny! i can see my reflection in it!") 90: just a big gigantic soft fluffy marshmallow up to 98% of the time 91: he loves showering his loved ones in compliments and random yet VERY EXPENSIVE BORDERLINE BANKRUPTING gifts 92: approximately 6-something-ish feet in height 93: really bad at swimming 94: master at playing pool 95: LOVES hugs and physical affection 96: has a secret manga collection but nobody knows this 97: sort of a dork 98: loves stupid comedy movies and silly tv shows 99: cannot ever resist the opportunity to make a cheesy joke or a pun 100: only true anime fans will get this but generally his ENTIRE character is a cross between Kotetsu Kaburagi, Dazai Osamu and Lockon Stratos (yes, I know, I'm VERY original here)

[elliotthezubat]

Tanabata Special BSD Ver

me and @soul-dwelling did a tanabata RP. enjoy

rain: *humming* Mori: "Oh, Rain..." rain: GYEH! s-sir! please don't startle me like that! Mori: "My apologies, but I have a request~" rain: I have legitimate reasons to feel highly concerned. Mori: "I swear, this request is on the level." rain: ... *sigh* I don't have much choice in the matter, do I? oh well, what is it? ~meanwhile~ naoya: tanabata festival, eh? sounds like a pretty fun time, haha! Gin: "What will you wear?" higuchi: well, kouyou did mention something about outfits being supplied. Gin: "...Supplied by _whom_?" higuchi:..........*Excalibur face* naoya: ah hell. Gin: "...Nope." higuchi: kouyou said she'd supply as well! Gin: *sighs* "Very well." -elsewhere- Lucy: "So what goes on at this thing?" atsushi: well, you take these slips of paper and write down your wish, then you tie it onto the tree. Lucy: "Huh. Any food?" atsushi: I think there should be food stands on the festival grounds. Kyouka: *pops up* "Let's do this." -meanwhile- Kunikida: "He refuses to join us." aya: aw. *pouts* boo. Katai: T~T "I don't want to leave my futon..." aya:... hey katai, didn't you say that lady with the long hair was gonna be there too? Katai: .\\\\. "...Wh-Who do you mean?" aya: miss yamato somethin'? Katai: "...I mean, yes, I guess..." aya: success! -elsewhere- Fitzgerald: “Amazing! I can feel the breeze against my nethers!” eckleburg: sir please. -elsewhere- Steinbeck: *holds up a small potted plant* "Maybe I can bring this." mark: sounds good! I'm gonna do all the shooting games and win a shit ton of prizes! Oscar: ufufu, so energetic ^^ Steinbeck: "And I heard Lovecraft will stop by--" lovecraft: hello. ebie: hiya! -elsewhere- Dazai: "...Too shallow." kenji: were you going to go swimming in the canal? hehe, silly dazai, it's shin deep! Dazai: "I wanted to see whether drowning was possible." Kunikida: "GET OUT OF THAT WATER, BEFORE I KILL YOU!" Dazai: OWO "You promise?" ranpo: ...oi! hey poe family! yosano: nice outfits, very retro. Rowena: thank you. miss ao picked them out for us. Poe: *holding Karl--who is also in an outfit* -elsewhere- rain: sir, I just have one thing to ask... Mori: "And what's that?" rain: *in a rather skimpy kimono* WHY IS MINE THE MOST REVEALING?!?! Mori: "Because it was in your size and had a super design~" rain: I can barely cover myself! >~< Mori: "...I fail to see the problem." rain: YOU WOULD! DX< Akutagawa: "Could you stop yelling? It's hurting my head." Chuuya: .\\\\\\. hirotsu: so uncouth. Mori: D: "Why do you have to be so mean?" elise: it's cause you're a pervert, rintarou. Mori: TT~TT "So mean..." *curls up into a ball* elise: ...rintarooou, I want to play carnival games! Mori: *bounces back up* "Of course, Elise!" ^_^ naoya + hirotsu: he cheered up fast. higuchi:...wait, where are kajii and ayako- *FIREWORKS BOOM* higuchi: found them. Motojiro: *giggling* "Fire the next one!" ayako: FIRE IN THE HOLE! *BOOOM* -she accidently blew up a choco covered banana stand........................and one fell between rain's.....assets.- rain: WHY?! higuchi: ok that was on purpose! Chuuya: "..." *nosebleed, falls back* koyuou: D8> chuuya! rain: wah! mr nakahara I'm sorry! D8> -elsewhere- Lucy: *looking around* atsushi: see anything you want to do first? Lucy: "Want to do the goldfish game?" atsushi: sounds good! -on the hill- yana: remember, the boss told us to have fun. leo: just three of us? yana: lessens suspicion. Ivan: "Maybe the Master would like a souvenir~" yana: sure, knock yourselves out. leo: pushkin and katya aren't joining us then? yana: they said something about it being kupala night, so they were gonna have a bonfire. leo: I see. *sweatdrop* Ivan: "...Them. With fire?" yana: relax, Chekov's watching them. Lydia's watching them too. leo: that's....somewhat more comforting... Ivan: "Hm. Might as well start with food." yana: <sounds good> -elsewhere- Katai: ,~, Naomi: *hugging her stuffed elephant* hehe~ Tanizaki: ^^; kirako: ^^ Dazai: "Want one?" *holds up takoyaki* kirako: oh, thanks. *nom* Dazai: *smiles* "Pretty good outing..." kirako: ^^ atsushi: yeah. have you decided on what you want to write on your papers? Dazai: "Maybe...How many 'x's' in asphix--'" Kunikida: "No." Naomi: It should be obvious~ Tanizaki: "???" naomi: 7w7 atsushi: naomi no. naomi: TnT Lucy: *eyeroll, as she writes down her note* -elsewhere- Chuuya: "Feel better?" rain: y-yeah. thank you, mr nakahara. Chuuya: ^\\\^ "Happy to help..." *looks at her* rain: it looks nice. pretty fancy, though. Chuuya: "Then it suits you." rain: eh? really? I-I don't normally wear really fancy things like this. .///.' Chuuya: *small smile* "You should. You take to them well." rain: ./////. -elsewhere- Akutagawa: *holding a sparkler* "...Yay." naoya: see? look at you, having fun! ^^ Akutagawa: "..." *small smile* "I'm just staring at fire, that's all." naoya: ....but you're still enjoying yourself, right? Akutagawa: "...Yes." naoya: see? ^^ *pats his back* Akutagawa: -\\\- "St-Stop..." -elsewhere- leo: *looking up at the moon* ... Ivan: "Nice view." leo: y-yes. Ivan: "Never get out much..." leo: .........*leans against his shoulder slightly* Ivan: "...??? ..." *pat pat* leo: .... .///////. Ivan: "Cold?" leo: um... w-well.... 7//////7;; Ivan: "How about some tea?" leo: is there a stand for that here? Hyde: "Fresh tea! We got it at our stand!" leo: ._.; that's....rather convenient. Hyde: "That's our motto, ma'am: 'Convenient!' So, what you want?" -elsewhere- rain: hmmm... *putting her paper up on the tree* [please let me have a little more confidence this year - Rain] Chuuya: *attaches his note* [Make my progress move more swiftly - Chuuya] rain: ^^ Chuuya: *smiles at her* Dazai: "My turn!" rain: O_O w-when did he- Dazai: *ties his* [Give me a beautiful end (with a gorgeous woman). -- Dazai] naoya: ..............who the fuck invited him here? Dazai: "I'M. EVERY. WHERE." atsushi: dazai please! you've had too much sake! Dazai: *giggles* "Maybe you haven't had enough--" atsushi: dazai no. Dazai: *pulls a bottle out of his kimono* "Drink-y's all around! Who's got the bowl..." *CHOP* Dazai: *collapsed on the floor* Chuuya: *holding his fist* "And stay down..." rain: ^^; atsushi: ._.; yosano: we'll take him from here. Dazai: X_X rain: ._.; -elsewhere- higuchi: there we go [please keep my sister safe - I.H.] [Protect Ryu. ~ gin] [please let rintarou stop being a creepy perv, also please bring Q home - elise <3] [Make Elise happy--maybe with a new dress~ - Mori] elise: ... Mori: *smiles* elise: *pouts* (thinking: rintarou you dummy, you don't get it at all!) Mori: "??? ...Are you hungry?" -elsewhere [I wish to be free from this curse - Leo] [May every one of Master's wishes be granted~ Ivan] yana: .... Ivan: "...You're going to get your wish?" yana:....heh, I dunno. what can someone like me even wish for? Ivan: "Maybe something small? Just not as small as Kat--" leo: please do not. Ivan: ^^; "In any case, just make dreams become reality. All you can do, right?" yana: I guess so. Ivan: "..." *slight nudge* "That's the spirit." yana: *small chuckle* well, in that case....*smirks* it's a secret~ Ivan: *nods, smiles* -elsewhere- Lucy: *nom nom nom* atsushi: how is it? Lucy: "Not too bad..." *picks off some of the cotton candy, offers it* atsushi: thanks. ^^ *nom* Lucy: ^^ "What else is there to try here? We could walk along the water..." atsushi: sounds great. kenji: kyouka, want to play some of the games? Kyouka: "Okay. What prizes are there?" -elsewhere- Kunikida: *lights a sparkler* aya: hehe ^^ Katai: Q~Q *hides under kimono* ???: well well, aint this just a shocking scene. -it's the number's bomber- Katai: "Eep!" Kunikida: "!!!!" boy: relax, I'm not here to cause trouble. I'm still on parole, remember? *points to the tracker bracelet* Kunikida: "...Better safe than sorry, as I'm sure you'd understand..." *holding his book* boy: yeah yeah, I hear....who's the munchkin?? aya: my name is aya! boy: cool. 'name's suuji. Kunikida: *stands in front of Aya* suuji: jeez, hostile much?....crap you're taller than I thought. .-.; Kunikida: *looks down* "Harm one hair on their heads, and I'll break you in two." suuji: alright, alright! I hear you, sheesh! i'm on parole, even if I use my ability once, the tracker will alert the cops and i'll get thrown back in jail. I don't want to go back, there, ok?! Kunikida: "..." Katai: Q_Q "...You like games, Suuji?" -elsewhere- Dazai: *collapsed* ranpo: should we take him home? Poe: "I don't know?" *pokes him with a stick* ???: *sigh* allow me. -a wild ango appears- Poe: ._. "..." *offers the stick* Dazai: "Zzz..." ango: he's just asleep.... *sigh* i'll drive him home then. Dazai: =w= *pats Ango's back* ango: =_.=; Dazai: *muttering* "Take me home..." ango: I'm doing that now. -elsewhere- Tanizaki: *blows bubbles* Naomi: hehe ^^ kirako: ^^ Tachihara: "Yo, pretty ladies! And weird guy." Naomi: oh god, this creep again. kirako: 7-7; Tachihara: "What you been up to? Enjoying the sights?" Tanizaki: "..." *rolling up a sleeve* Naomi: ....*grin* Tachihara: "See? That's the smile I'd like to see, pretty girl--" Tanizaki: *elbow dive* Tachihara: "-EEEEEE!" Naomi: rekt. Tachihara: "GET OFF OF ME--" Tanizaki: *slams his head face-first into the dirt* naomi:....*stares* ..... ouo Tachihara: *smacking his hand around, trying to push him off* Tanizaki: *sits on his back* naomi: O///u///O -elsewhere- Chuuya: *looking up at the stars* rain: .....*small smile* Chuuya: *his hand bumps into hers* rain: !! o///o Chuuya: "!!!!" *pulls his hand back* >\\\\> rain: ... ./////. *squirms a bit* Chuuya: "...I'm sorry." rain: I-I-it's fine, really. Chuuya: "I'm just, not sure when to, you know..." rain: ?? Chuuya: "...Am I too forward?" rain: eh? I-I don't think so. w-with you, I feel a bit more at ease. Chuuya: "...Would you like to hold hands?" rain:...*holding his hand, lightly* *blushing* Chuuya: .\\\\. *slight squeeze* rain:...*tiny smile* ....*leans in closer* Chuuya: *gulps* *leans in* *The bushes rustle* rain: !!! *falls over* -squish~- Chuuya: O\\\\\\O Gin: "Oh, sorry. I was looking--" *sees* "..." rain: *she's right on top of chuuya* ./////////////////////////. higuchi:....*ahem* Gin: "..." *covers Higuchi's eyes* Chuuya: *muffled voice* rain: *sitting up......* o////////////////////////////////////////////o Chuuya: *holding his breath* .\\\\\\\. rain: .////////////////////////////////////////////////. um.... higuchi: weeee'll just leave you two be Gin: *pulls Higuchi away* "We're so sorry." Chuuya: "..." *soul escaping out of his mouth* rain:... >//////////////< I'm so sorry! Chuuya: "It-It's my fault, probably..." rain: y-you didn't do anything wrong, really! Chuuya: "I-I should've, I don't know, pulled back before I embarrassed you." >\\\\< rain: .....I just wish it could have been more private... Chuuya: "...Me, too." rain:.....*smooch* Chuuya: .\\\\. "..." =\\\\= *smooch* -elsewhere- ango: *driving dazai back to his place*......*sigh* -scarlet sky plays on the car's radio- ango: .....brings back memories, huh? you getting black out drunk, and we'd have to drive you back home. Dazai: *holding his head* "...I don't want to remember." T~T ango: ......odasaku would always give you a piggy back ride. I told him he was babying you, but he insisted... Dazai: *sniff* "He was attentive..." ango: yeah....he sure was. Dazai: "Oh, please--you know he was..." ango:....say, what did you make your wish for? Dazai: "..." *goofy smile* "A speedy end~" ango: *sigh* of course you did Dazai: "...and maybe for a good year for others..." ango: perhaps. Dazai: "What'd you wish for? New glasses?" ango: ...not really. I figured it'd be in my best interest not to wish for the impossible... Dazai: "...Then wish for the possible." ango:....perhaps. Dazai: "Like a new haircut..." ango: *small chuckle* -elsewhere- Steinbeck: ._. "...Quiet." twain: hmmn? whats up? Steinbeck: "I thought we'd find larger crowds..." Oscar: hmm? why is that, johnny boy? Steinbeck: "Festival. Fireworks. Food. Games. Just...Do we have the right address?" ebie: yeppers! Oscar: well it is getting later in the evening now. twain: yeah. *has a backpack full of prizes* Steinbeck: "Hmm...Someone cleaned up at the games." twain: heck yeah I did! sawyer: heck yeah we did! huck: -_-; Steinbeck: "What're you gonna do with it all?" twain: might keep some of it, might auction the rest on ebay. Steinbeck: "Well, do something good with the dollars." twain: got it! Steinbeck: "And where is Lovecraft?" lovecraft: *swimming along the canal* *monotone* wheeeee..... Steinbeck: "...Well, as long as he is happy." ^^ -elsewhere- Akutagawa: "...Something is missing." naoya: eh? Akutagawa: "...Rashomon." *hands his wish to it* naoya: is it the weretiger? rashomon: ^u^ *tying the paper on* Akutagawa: "...I asked to get stronger. I leave it to the universe to determine how it wishes to define 'strength.'" naoya: ah. that makes sense. strength of body, strength of mind, strength of heart. Akutagawa: "Sound soul and all that..." naoya: yep. Akutagawa: "..." *sniff* naoya:....hey, you go find your little buddy, ok? Akutagawa: "...'Little buddy'?" naoya: the weretiger. what did you think I meant? Akutagawa: "..." .\\\\. "R-Right...Thanks." *walks* naoya: hey, got to get all the gag bases covered for these things, right? haha! Akutagawa: *fast walking--turns a corner* -bump- Akutagawa: "!!!" Alcott: eep! Akutagawa: "Oh. Sorry." alcott: um.... *mumble mumble* Fitzgerald: "And just what are you doing to my assistant, there...?" *evil smiling aura* Akutagawa: .________. Fitzgerald: *pulls out $200* "This should be enough..." *tightens his fist* Akutagawa: "Nope." *Rashomon bounce* bram: what..was that...? Fitzgerald: "Comedy relief? I think I read that is common at these festivals." bram:.....I....see. *sweatdrop* alcott: best not to overthink it. you'll just hurt yourself. -elsewhere- Poe: *holds up Karl* Rowena: *snaps a pic* hehe, cute. ^^ lana: ^^ Poe: ^^ "Just a fun time..." -elsewhere- Lucy: *yawns* atsushi: the fireworks are about to start soon. Lucy: "Yeah, yeah, I'm up, I'm up..." *lean* atsushi: o////////////o *stiff tiger tail* Lucy: =w= "Should be some good fireworks tonight..." *pats his knee* atsushi: O///////////////////////////////////////////////O y-y-y-y-yeah. Lucy: *yawns* "What did you wish for...?" atsushi: its a secret. Lucy: *pouts* "Aw, don't you want to share?" atsushi: well...im not sure what I want to wish for. I could have some ideas, but I don't think they'd be very original. ^^; Lucy: "Like maybe world peace, finding your true love...?" atsushi: ... .///////. *gulp* Lucy: "No pressure, of course." *small smooch* atsushi: o////////////o *smoooooch* >///////////< Lucy: o\\\\o "..." *holds his hand* atsushi: ^////^ -elsewhere- Gin: "You okay?" higuchi: yeah, why wouldn't I be? Gin: "You just seem a little distracted." higuchi: do I? Gin: "Yes. Did you want to have somewhere less crowded?" higuchi: sure. -elsewhere- Mori: ^^ "So cute..." elise: *has a big ol stuffed bear* I will call him sir tibbers. Tachihara: "Yeah, real cute..." *has a black eye and a torn kimono* hirotsu: I'm not even shocked Tachihara: *spits* "Real funny, old man..." *adjusts his kimono* -elsewhere- Kunikida: -_-# suuji: not a bad shot, kiddo. aya: ^u^ Katai: "Quite good..." *aims* -elsewhere- Chuuya: *sighs* rain: this is nice. Chuuya: *nods* "Yes..." *cradles her* rain: .... u/////u Chuuya: *smooch* rain: u//////u -elsewhere- Dazai: "Zzz..." ango:....*tucks him in*.....good night. *glances at the photo on his dresser. The one with them and oda* ........................... *exits* Dazai: "Zzzz..." =w= ango:.....*back in his car* .....I shouldn't wish for the impossible.... *looks at his paper and tears it up* [I wish things could go back to they way they were] Dazai: *turns...sniffs...* T_T -elsewhere, at the fireworks show- Akutagawa: *still walking* atsushi: =w=...... !!! Lucy: =w= *cuddles* Akutagawa: "... ... .... ..." *stare* atsushi: *sweats* Lucy: *spots him--* O____O Akutagawa: "..." *approaches--and lies down between them* "..." atsushi:.....um.....hi? Akutagawa: *intense stare* "Hello." atsushi: OuO;;;; Lucy: "...The heck are you doing?" Akutagawa: "You looked comfortable." *takes Atsushi's hand* atsushi: *sweats* Lucy: *fuming--reaches over Akutagawa to grab Atsushi's hand* Akutagawa: "..." .\\\\. atsushi: o///o; erm.... Lucy: "Keep your hands off my boyfriend..." *growls* Akutagawa: -_-; *pushes Lucy away, cuddles next to Atsushi* atsushi: um...*gulps and double hug* IPANICKEDOKAY?! Lucy: o\\\\\o Akutagawa: "..." .\\\\. "...What is this?" atsushi: I-I don't know, I just got nervous and panicked! >///~///<;;; Lucy: -\\\\-# "....So frustrating." Akutagawa: "..." *shifts so that each of them is on each side of Atsushi...cuddles* =\\\= atsushi: Y///w///Y; Lucy: *sighs* *hugs Atsushi* >\\\\\< Akutagawa: =\\\w\\\= -elsewhere- Steinbeck: "I think that's the last sparkler..." Oscar: *sigh* so fleeting... Steinbeck: "Could be worst. At least our group doesn't have some lunatic who brings a thousand rockets with him--" *BOOM* Steinbeck: o_o;;;; ebie: oooooh. was that a rocket? Motojiro: "A ROCKET?! Ha! That is merely a term the uneducated use for our glorious baby!" ayako: MEHEHEHEHEHEHE! Steinbeck: "...Don't stare at the crazies, Ebie..." ebie: ok. Oscar: oh dear. ^^; Motojiro: "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" -elsewhere- Mori: *yawns* kouyou: my my, exhausted already? Mori: "Just overwhelmed by the cuteness~" kouyou: is. that. so? ^^# Mori: *nods* "Elise looks so precious in her outfit with that new dollie..." elise:... =___=; we are not amused. Mori: "Cutey cutey cute..." kouyou: ugh. -elsewhere- Chuuya: =\\\w\\\= "...I think we should re-join the others?" rain: I-if you want...but you may have to clean off a bit... 7///7; Chuuya: "...!!!" *covers his chest with the kimono, wipes his face* "Is-Is it almost off?" rain: y-yeah. Chuuya: *rubs a bit more--stares at her* "..." .\\\. rain: .////. Chuuya: "..." *reaches for her kimono, adjusting it* rain: t-thanks... Chuuya: ^\\\^ "Can't have you showing off more than you need to...At least, not to anyone but me..." *smooch* rain: r-right... ^///////^; Chuuya: *holds her hand* rain: ^////^ Chuuya: "I...love you." rain: *blushing* I-I love you too. Chuuya: *smiles, walking with her* -elsewhere- Tanizaki: "Maybe we should be heading home?" Naomi: yeah. *yawns* kenji: zzzzzzzzzz Kyouka: *carrying Kenji* suuji: night. Katai: "Good night..." ^^; Kunikida: *growl* suuji:.....*walking back over to his parole officer* Katai: "..." *nudges* "I think you've been mean to him. Right, Aya?" aya: yeah, he looks kind of sad. Kunikida: "What would you have me do--invite him to tea?" aya: I dunno. Katai: ^^; "Maybe just...wish him a good night?" Kunikida: "..." *sighs* *calls to Suuji* "Good night." suuji:...t-thanks. Kunikida: "..." *nods* "And keep your nose clean." suuji:...*chuckle* will do. Kunikida: "..." *abruptly turns around* suuji:....if this is about her, I wouldn't blame you for being mad at me... Kunikida: "...'Mad' is an understatement." suuji: .....*sigh* I'm trying man. I really am... Kunikida: "...Let me know how that goes." suuji:....thanks. Kunikida: *nods* "You know where I am." suuji:.... -elsewhere- Akutagawa: "Zzz..." higuchi: *carrying him on her back* phew... hirotsu: *carrying naoya on his back* naoya: *passed out drunk* Gin: "Some celebration..." -elsewhere- Lucy: -_-# atsushi: Q_Q did I mess up? I'm really sorry. Q___Q Lucy: "...Why? What did you think that was going to do?" atsushi: I don't know. am I an idiot? Lucy: *sighs* "I don't think that at all...I think you want to please a lot of people..." *hug* atsushi: *sniffles* I-I guess.... Lucy: *strokes his back* "...You made me feel really good for a lot of tonight." atsushi: 7////7 Lucy: "...Could you...let me have you to myself? For a bit?" atsushi: sounds fair. Lucy: "Good." *pats his bottom* atsushi: .///. -elsewhere- Mori: "But I insist on giving you a ride--" rain: it's fine, really! Mori: "But how will I know you'll get home safel--" Chuuya: "Fine, if someone has to make sure she gets home, I'll escort her. Okay? Is that sufficient?" rain: *smiles* Mori: "..." *sighs* "Very well. Good night, Rain." rain: ... Mori: "Good night, Chuuya." Chuuya: *nods* "Sir." *opens his car's door for Rain* rain: *getting in* Chuuya: *once she is seated, closes the door for her* rain: thank you, mr nakahara. Chuuya: *smiles* "Of course." *walks to the driver's side, gets in* rain: *she seems calmer now* Chuuya: *starts the car, smiles at her*

[deltaengineering]

spring anime 2017 part 2: girlfriendship is magic

I can’t believe Maidragon was so powerful it brought the entire 90s back.

See also:

• spring anime 2017 part 1: woke up late

• spring anime 2017 part 3: comfy and easy to wear

• spring anime 2017 bonus round: things you already knew were good

Clockwork Planet

Yes, forecasts this season predict heavy showers of magical girlfriends.This time the dude afflicted by this sudden precipitation is a clockwork nerd, who gets a clockwork gothloli dropped on him. This may be less of a coincidence than it sounds because for spurious reasons the entire planet has been replaced by clockwork – if you thought this show was mentally capable of having a metaphorical title, I have bad news. So basically this is teen schmuck + robot superweapon having fights in a city that looks like a lazy steampunk cosplayer’s top hat, in between erotic misunderstandings. I’m regretting that I called Macchiavellism’s fights bad because a couple good action cuts are already a lot to ask for, as evidenced here: It looks just terrible, and obviously the content itself is even worse. Nuh-uh.

Eromanga-sensei

I love Hiro Kanzaki’s character designs. There, I said it. I just wish they weren’t attached to bullshit like OreImo or Eromanga-sensei, which, being by the same author and all, is more or less the same thing. It’s pretty bad when the implied incest fantasy is the least revolting thing about your celebration of otaku shittery: So a schlubby light novel protagonist who also writes light novels (and who happens to be surrounded by hot bitches that just love people who write light novels because that’s so cool) finds out that the mysterious porn artist he’s collaborating with over the internet is actually his hikkikomori little sister, who reacts to this revelation like any girl would: being tsundere. This means it’s full of mildly self-deprecating nerd humor, the infuriating kind that makes it abundantly clear that if the author meant any of it, he wouldn’t write this crap. Even worse is that the sibling relationship is played for sappy family feels, which I would be more willing to give the benefit of the doubt to if this wasn’t OreImo 2: The Sequel To OreImo. And the main guy can’t keep his eyes from wandering anyway, so it’s not like there’s a mystery here. I’ll say it looks real good, obviously there’s money in the OreImo market and it’s well made as a result, plus the aforementioned character designs. But if I want more Hiro Kanzaki I’d rather watch Go! Go! 575 again.

Hinako Note

There’s actually no Manga Time Kirara adaptation this season, but worry not, Hinako Note is indistinguishable from one of those (that one being GochiUsa). So it’s Kirara at it’s most basic too: 5 girls with mild, generic quirks hang out and cute things take place. You get your shy one, you get your hungry one, you get your tiny maid one, etc. Ostensibly this is theater-themed, but as of episode 1 it’s less about theater than K-ON is about music, and that’s saying something. Now, these shows are always extremely inoffensive by design, and if they do nothing fundamentally wrong they just come across as dull. Since this does nothing fundamentally wrong, it just comes across as dull. Congratulations, Hinako Note, you pulled it off even while being born in the wrong magazine.

Kabukibu!

The easy hook when writing about Kabukibu is that it’s another DEEN show about a classic Japanese performance artform, but it’s blindingly obvious right away that Kabukibu is no Rakugo Shinjuu – it being about a school club is right in the title after all, and it has the requisite spurious punctuation too, so everything else falls into place from there. The main innovation is that this is about cute guys doing cute kabuki. As always, our main dude has to gather the five members to bring the school club back to life first. So it’s unimaginative and honestly rather bad, but I still like it. For starters there’s the bit where our lead is such a nerd that he spends every conversation clearing up common misconceptions about kabuki, which is hilarious, since it resembles weeaboo Richard Stallman wanting to interject for a second over and over again. Secondly, the comical cast of misfits does seem to have potential, with a rock singer that can’t sing, an obvious woman that is actually a woman, and so on. Overall it reminds me of Cheer Danshi, an obvious C-list production that gets by by being earnest. If I can learn to not be annoyed at the yodelling kabuki inflection, I might actually watch this for a lark.

The King’s Avatar

This may be completely outside the “Japanese cartoon” purview of this post since it’s 100% Chinese and doesn’t even have a Japanese dub like the Haoliners productions, but it’s on MAL so it counts I suppose. Also, it’s rather... good? The King’s Avatar is about a legendary MMO pro gamer who gets kicked off his team and has to give up his account, which afflicts him with a multitude of sads. After a bit of soul-searching he starts playing the game again on a new server, starting from level 1. What makes this not as bad as it sounds is that it’s not an isekai bonanza, but a sports show where the sport happens to be visually interesting, and it’s a slow and contemplative sports show at that. The whole “starting from level 1" thing is a topical twist on the sports comeback story, and it looks fairly nice too, a few bits of unfortunate CG aside (but that’s common, so whatever). Yeah, I like this, and if fansubs turn out to not be a huge hassle to get hold of I’ll give it a try.

Love Kome - We Love Rice

Back in Japan, please enjoy this short comedy about rice crop gijinka, boyband edition. It has atrocious character designs and is painfully unfunny. So nothing new there.

Re:Creators

Girlfriends keep falling in my lap, and that might mean my eyes will soon be turning red. Hey, this is the old “reverse isekai”, where some nerd gets to live with a bunch of characters from his favorite anime that inexplicably became real. Brace for domestic hijinks and fish-out-of-water comedy - and a lot of action, because this is Ei Aoki working with offbrand Fate material. He may be this show’s saving grace, because I’m willing to forgive dumb action anime a lot if it at least manages to have some actual fucking action in it. The idea that these anime characters think they’re in the “realm of the gods” (i.e., their creators, you see) also has some storytelling potential, if it doesn’t get buried under stuff blowing up and comedic trips to the konbini. And it doesn’t have a “walking in on the girl naked” scene, which probably counts as “classy” in this field. I don’t know, it sure is stupid as hell but it might be a good time. We’ll see.

Renai Boukun

Renai Boukun is a comedy’s comedy about a very silly cupid that ships people, and herself. As a real anime comedy, it is of course chock full of people acting wacky followed by reaction faces, which is my kryptonite. I do have to admit that this show at least goes all out with it, it’s fast and furious and never lets up. Some of the jokes are even okay (mostly the more absurd ones like the unsettlingly bizarre cat with a human face), though most are just repetitive, like the yandere girl being constantly jealous. Yeah, this is just totally not my thing, but if I give it any amount of praise that probably means it’s a good one?

Seikaisuru Kado

Never say that bureaucrats don’t get no respect, because this is the second season in a row where we get an anime about pencilpushers being totally awesome. The main difference between this and ACCA is that ACCA was roughly 80% style, and Seikaisuru Kado has no style. It makes up for it with conviction, because this is a show where some desk jockey assigned to wind down an electroplating business spends a night googling, with the result being him developing a new electroplating procedure that saves the company and impresses physics professors – and that is the intro before the science fiction aspect comes into play. Oh yeah, there’s a science fiction aspect. So after a job well done, Super Bureaucrat Man is taking a flight from Haneda airport when a Borg cube unceremoniously drops on the plane. The rest of the episode is spent with scientists trying to figure out what happened, mostly by shooting tank shells at the cube and so on. Guess they just aren’t bureaucratic enough, because by the end our hero emerges from the cube, having apparently come to an agreement with the proprietor. Uh. Yes, this is an extreme amount of nonsense, and I have no idea where this is supposed to be going. With the amount of military hardware on display, it makes me think “GATE, but not for total assholes”, but who knows. It looks very weird too, it’s a CG show that cuts a lot of corners by using 2D animation (I know, right?). Usually CG characters are good when you have a lot of action because it enables a fluid camera, but this has no action and they still could have done their special effects in CG like everyone else. So it ends up as an anime where the important characters look worse than the unimportant ones they couldn’t be bothered to build a CG model for. The whole thing is bizarre enough to be intriguing, but I don’t have high hopes for it, especially since the slots for shows I actually want to watch are now filling up.

Tsuki ga Kirei

Case in point: Tsuki ga Kirei is a romance about a bookish nerd dude who loves to quote Dazai at his most morose, and a neurotic girl. Needless to say, it is very awkward, but also kind of cute. This may seem like a slim synopsis, but that’s pretty much it: Tsuki ga Kirei is the sort of show that has the potential to be great if it pays off, but just becomes boring to infuriating Mari Okada clone #3879435 if it doesn’t. So it’s a risky proposition, and not one you can call based on the first episode. On the execution level it seems to do it right so far, it’s well directed, sticks to its slow, sensitive tone and looks pleasant and detailed – the only distracting thing are regrettable and robotic CG background characters all over the place. Overall, this is a show that demands at least three episodes, which it will get from me. Ask again later.

Twin Angel BREAK

Finally, if you’re looking for some basic-ass mahou shoujo shit, here’s the new Twin Angel spinoff. It’s indeed some basic-ass mahou shoujo shit (two-girl team aka PreCure version). The genki red one and the reserved blue one go around fighting evil by the moonlight or whatever, while being cheered on by their one-gimmick-each friends. I somehow doubt this thing is setting itself up for a subversion of any kind, so yeah. What you see is what you get. The only memorable thing is that the action is more than merely bad here, it’s comically bad. Seriously, it’s somewhere between Astro Fighter Sunred and Ninja Slayer. Too bad the rest of the show is just unambitiously competent, so watching it for production pratfalls seems like it’s not worth it either.